Making the world a better place, one blog entry at a time

I use my car during my workday, I live 10 bicycle-unfriendly miles from the office and there's no mass transit that runs the route (unless you count the freight trains, but that's illegal). There are a few days a week I could probably get away with it, possibly showering at the recreation center or police station (the chief jokingly offered that to me one day). I could take a slightly longer route to the office and take fewer traffic risks. So why don't I? Here's another excuse: we've had 33 days of 100-degree (or more) weather and that's just wrong. Makes it even hard to sit in my car with the air conditioning on.

But I met a guy this week who bikes 37 miles one way to his office. He gets a lift most of the way back after work, but typically pedals seven or eight miles to his house. How awesome is that? He's training for a 100-mile bike ride Aug. 26 in Wichita Falls. But as a result he's lost 25 pounds, has more energy and saves about $9 a day in gasoline.

My excuses are going to start to dwindle as the temperature does. I could use to lose some pounds and the gas savings would be terrific. We'll see if other excuses get in my way. With the arrival of Son 2.0 in December, it's likely that for a period of weeks I'll be the one driving the Cutlet to preschool because the Petite Filet will be out for eight to 12 weeks. I can probably work around that, too, though. Somehow.

How are you cutting back on gasoline or energy use? Or why aren't you?

Here's some tips on making the world a better place:

• Eat fewer burritos. Scientists blame high ozone and pollution levels on greenhouse gases and carbon dioxide emissions from vehicles and manufacturing. I think part of the blame should go to Taco Bueno.

• Don't hug a tree, plant a new one.

• Wear lots of leather. Just like people who eat too many burritos, cows fart a lot. If we eat them and then wear their skin, there will be less pollution. Burger, anyone?

• Listen to Al Gore and his message of doom, and then make him shut up. His hot air is responsible for higher climactic temperatures. I think he could also melt a glacier simply by talking to it about Medicare.

• If you're happy and you know it, stop smoking. I'm sick of paying more for my health insurance to subsidize your iron lung. Oh, and turn your thermostat up in the summer and down in the winter.

• If we could harness the power of toddlers, we could generate enough electricity to light up Tokyo for a gazillion years. Little kids on hamster wheels can save the world.

• Don't drive a car bigger than you need. There's been an attitude shift from "big, mean trucks look cool" to "that idiot can't park that dumb thing, and why is he/she riding around in it by him/herself?" Ditch the Hummer for something that doesn't scream "I have self-esteem issues so I bought an obnoxiously large SUV" or just for the guys, "I have a small penis." Let's get realistic. If you do need to haul around a minor-league baseball team, buy yourself a bus or something. If you don't, then don't.

• Stop watering your lawn every day. Brown is the new green, at least for a few more months. If you live where it actually rains consider yourself lucky.

• Buy a bicycle. Even if you don't ride it to work or run a few errands with it, you'll be a much happier person. Everybody who can ride one should have one and ride it every chance they get. Amen.