Slang is a linguistic means to keep the uninitiated from knowing what on earth is going on. Elevated to a professional or technical level, it becomes jargon. But, of course, slang is cooler because it's often the young, hip on the street who are throwin' down the verbal code to keep The Man, The Establishment and Old Fogeys at bay.
The suburbs are unfairly blamed on so much that is wrong with today. We have long commutes to urban centers to work (SUVs! high gas prices! pollution!), pass by all those fast food restaurants (large guts! unoriginal food choices!) and spend our leisure time doing uncool things (mowing lawns! going to youth soccer games!). For goodness sake, there are even suburban residential development projects that mimic urban settings, one of which sold its $450,000-$750,000 Brownstones in a matter of hours. Why is that important? It shows that some people in the suburbs don't really want to live in the suburbs. It's uncool.
That is why we suburbanites (or expats who now live in cities) must fight the good fight. We must have our own slang. To wit:
• Blippin' the strips: Frequenting strip shopping centers that nearly always feature donut shops, nail salons, cell phone store, a dentist's office and a pizza joint.
• SYITs: Suburban Yuppies in Training. You know who they are because they probably drive a nicer car than you do despite being 16 years old.
• Snagbagging: Practiced by SYIT in shopping malls, it involves going to a trendy or expensive store, buying something cheap and then believing you look cool because you've got a bag from that store.
• Plastic surfing: Using parents' credit cards to go shopping. An SYIT activity.
• Showboxing: Buying something expenisve (like a plasma TV) and then putting the box at the curb long before trash day so your neighbors become jealous. Not such a good idea, as burglars also see the boxes and might invite themselves in to thriftpickle.
• Thriftpickle: Burglarizing a well-equipped surburban home.
• Buzz hummin': Driving an SUV or truck with off-road tires (causing a buzzing noise on asphalt). Most often relates to Hummers.
• Rolling uptown: Driving/riding in a large luxury SUV.
• Big boxing: Going to Wal-Mart, Home Depot or other "big box" retailer.
• Flippin' looey to the meat: Making a U-turn to get into the McDonald's (or other fast-food chain) drive-thru.
• Crap circles: Patterns in the grass caused by mowing the lawn around your dog's poop piles.
• Burbhorning: Act of building houses so close together that there's little space between them.
• Taxidermy: Skin irritation caused by having to pay high surburban property taxes.
• Slurpjimmy: Buying the largest cup of coffee at 7-Eleven and drinking it on the long drive to the office. Alternate: Blushjane: Applying makeup during the commute.
Not in alphabetical order because, well, that would just be too citified. Any words you can think of?
You get extra points if you use my words or your own slang in a sentence.
Me and LK were buzz hummin' to big box and decided to flip looey to the meat. But some blushjane rolling uptown to blip the strips and cut us off. Was enough to give you taxidermy and want to thriftpickle her pad, yo.
phonecastinate...waiting on the caller id to show who's calling
Hahahaha, you are too creative, T-bone. My old neighbors used to be very guilty of showboxing. But then they went bankrupt and had to sell their house and move away. It was sad, really. I guess even though they had the fanciest stuff, they didn't have much else in the bank...
CRAP CIRCLES?
You are imaginative beyond my puny abilities....
Very educational. :)
I have a feeling there will be much looey flippin' to the meat in my future, if only so I can say that out loud.
I really appreciate what you're doing here. Very interesting site. green mistery becomes coolblooded circle in final