I'm going camping with some buddies this evening after work. It's been a while since I've been, mainly because of the time (posted about in May 2003, if you care to wade through the archives) during which the Petite Filet and I got sunburned, were kept up by the wind buffeting the tent, got the boat stuck in the mud and lost our keys in the lake. Also, I had ditched my tent a few years ago because it was starting to smell funky, and no amount of Febreezeฎ would cure its stinky ills.
I'm finding that primitive camping is requiring a whole lot more forethought and stuff than I figured. There are some questions I'm trying to answer.
If it gets too hot overnight, is it OK to sleep in the nude? I'll have my own tent. And it was OK when it was me and the wife (tee hee!).
Should I pack deodorant? Soap? Clean underwear? I'm supposed to be camping for goodness sake.
This is just one night and part of tomorrow. Why do I feel the need to pack like I'm going to hike across the Continental Divide?
Big Swiss Army Knife or Little Swiss Army Knife?
Should I take some boardgames in case we all get bored? What about my portable DVD player? If I had a laptop, it would be a tossup; there's actually wireless Internet available in the campground. No, I'm not sure why, either.
Should I take my iPod? If so, do I have to load it with songs about the outdoors? What are some songs about the outdoors that aren't sung by John Denver?
Dinner is covered (we're grilling meat!). What on earth am I going to eat for breakfast?
Is it OK to catch up on my reading while everybody else is fishing?
There aren't any bears where we're going, but should I take my running shoes in case some sort of predator chases us? Rule of thumb: you don't have to be faster than the (*insert scary hungry animal here*), you just have to be faster than your friends.
Does Domino's deliver to the campground?
These are guys from my (Baptist) church. Is anyone going to bring some beer? Should I pick up a sixer or a case?
On that note, what if Macho Manley shows up? Should I apologize for the large amount of "emissions" or make it into some kind of contest?
Should I take a compass in case someone asks which way is North? It might be embarassing to have to get into my car and check the thingee on the rearview mirror.
If a tree falls in the forest, is there a chance it will bonk me on the head? And if so, will anyone hear me?
One last interesting tidbit before I head to work this morning: the campground we are going to is the exact same one where the PF and I had our camping misdaventure. In fact, we'll be staying just a stone's throw (or a car key's toss) away from that very camp site. Is that an omen, or a chance to turn a bad experience into a good one? And how good can it be if there's no chance of having sex with my wife in a tent?
Oh dear, too funny! Bring beer, you can always have that for breakfast. Big knife can do what small knife can do but small knife can't do what big knife can so I say go with big, cover all bases. no board games but yes, running shoes (love that you have to outrun your friends!)
Have a great time (one night?!? that's not even camping!)
Have fun! :)
Let's consult the man law (www.manlaw.com).
Board games and camping with men - not good.
Beer and camping with men - good.
Sleeping nude in tent where only men camping - not good.
sleeping nude in tent with wife - very good.
reading instead of fishing - acceptable, beer with either is outstanding.
Hmmm. I gather it's www.manlaws.com? The beer website?
Burt Reynolds in the same room as real men - bad. Also very mistaken. :)
Definitely bring a big knife. And fill a thermos with beer - nobody will be the wiser.
Also, don't watch "Deliverance" before you go - it will scare you. And if you run into any hillbillies, well, keep your distance...