It's that time of year again in the Crumbling Suburbs, where the smell of freshly cut grass lingers with someone cooking meat using too much lighter fluid to get the fire going. Oblivious neighbors will be trying to water their lawns, yet getting most of it in the street. Many will do their annual shrub-trimming, which often passes for gardening out here. There will be funky tan lines, inflatable backyard pools, yard sales and youth sports. There will doubtless be those who still have Christmas lights stapled to the roof, yet decide it would look swell to hang thousands of Easter eggs from their trees. There is also a good chance that inflatable bunnies will appear in my midst.
My urban brothers and sisters may have a hipster-cool environment complete with high-density, lofty housing units and city conveniences just a stroll away. There might be things to do that don't involve shopping malls, soccer balls or giant SUVs. But, as my previous paragraph describes, there are some really dense people out here in the sprawl, too.
Of course, I try not to let my address define who I am. However, it does determine how I spend a lot of my time ...
• I have to drive 10 miles to my job, which strangely is in another suburb (further from nearest the urban center). There's no train, subway or bus to hop to get me there.
• Next week marks the launch of Mowing Season, which means I'll be cutting the lawn every week until late May. That's when things stop blooming here because the heat turns up and the rain turns off.
• While I'm mindlessly mowing, I'll notice the myriad other things that need to be done on the outside of the house: Painting ... tree-trimming ... landscaping ... stormwater drainage retraining ... lizard naming. Biz-ay, yo!
• Little-kid birthdays! The Petite Filet has spared me from having to go to a lot of these. We have had only family celebrations for the Cutlet because he's only 3 (and he was born Dec. 26). This coming year we might have a summer unbirthday party – no presents, just fun. Maybe get out the Nemo sprinkler and let he and his friends have at it. For goodness sakes, if the kid doesn't understand the concept of presents then he or she is way too young to have a birthday party!
• Shopping! It's hard not to trip over a mall or strip shopping center around here. Sprawl with a capital ARGH! Most of my retail time will be spent at Wal-Mart (ack!) and Home Depot (yay, but it means work for me).
• And how will I get most of my purchased crap home? In my station wagon, of course! I owned an SUV for about eight years, and I am now more "evolved" because of my wagon, which is easier to park, gets better gas mileage and is less likely to roll over or spontaneously explode. In a non-suburban move, I can also more easily get my bicycle on its roof rack – which I do often. Most roof racks go unused in the 'burbs, but I'm a rebel (I'm sure you already knew that).
There is more to say, dear friends, but I've taken enough of your time. Plus, there's a storm brewin' outside and I don't want to put the fate of my intrepid iMac entirely in the hands of my questionable Radio Shack surge protector. We have trust issues in the suburbs, which is why we like to have a little space between us and the next-door nabes.
I saw an inflatable bunny once. But I'm not at liberty to reveal the circumstances.
LOVE the wagon. Thank you for not purchasing the mini van!!! Yours is sporty, yet efficient for stuff. I love it. Good choice. Oh, and maybe I'll get me one of those nemo sprinklers for the garden, just to enjoy the moment
I love your wagon. I have a VW Golf, chosen for 1.) gas mileage, 2.) ease of parallel parking and 3.) cuteness....and now I don't think I could live with out a hatchback. They are too handy. Good luck with all your spring activities. I am SO ready for spring!
Biz-ay, indeed! As pleasant as it is to call the maintenance guy to fix whatever is broken in our apartment, and to have the "yard" taken care of... I am really looking forward to the days of mowing and planting flowers in a real home. Oh, and judging the neighbors who leave their Christmas lights up year round.
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