It is estimated that the average American across his or her lifespan spends a total of three years (not all at once) with their buns glued to a toilet. Before you say, “But T-bone, men get to stand up when they pee and that skews the estimate,” I say, hold on there, pahdnuh. See, some of us men like to get some readin’ done in the Thinking Room, prolonging our session. I bet it evens out pretty well in the, uh, end. For some reason, reading helps (but it can’t just be shampoo bottles; it has to be actual prose, preferably something interesting).
That is an awful lot of time spent on the can. Not nearly as much time as we spend in bed (heh), but still a loooooong time. I guess where I’m going with this is that, well, going is a part of life. And when the tough get going, make sure you’ve got some air freshener handy.
This is where it comes to the audience participation portion of our program. So, what’s your favorite or least favorite thing about your personal bathroom, and what do you like to find when you have to go public? Don’t disappoint me, people. I’m hoping to flush out some interesting comments here.
My favorite thing - magazine rack in bathroom, least favorite - the lighting. I think I need brighter bulbs.
when i have to go public I'd like privacy. A full closet - you find these in europe alot.
I'm a first timer, here and you're already on toilet humor, I see. Actually, I don't spend much time there, I'm a quick-pee'r which is a good thing for a girl, (I think!) There's never reading material in my bathroom, if you're there that long, there are bigger issues at hand then what you are reading!
Did you seriously just post this? For those of us who actually know you, this is disturbing. (TMI! TMI!)
You've taken potty humor to a whole new level. My favorite thing in our "Loo" is the high pressure nuclear powered super flush potty that the Navy saw fit to install in our house. The worse part of "going public" is when previous occupants of your stall of choice did not follow the rhyme "if you sprinkle when you tinkle, please be neat and wipe the seat."
Have a good one, T.
Our master bath ( don't you just love that term) is teeny tiny, barely enough room to attend to the business at hand. When you add Kman's 6'3" and 280 pounds to the room, it is hilarious. When he sits at the throne, his knees almost touch the opposite wall.
The other family/guest bathroom is small but gargantuan in comparision to the master's. (don't go there)
As to public toidies, clean is the obvious, but a good supply of TP is a nice amenity. None of that almost imaginary wisp of single sheet nonsense for me, please. Real women have real needs.
Oh, and unisex public bathrooms are gross, just plain gross I tell ya.
My least favorite thing about public bathrooms? I hate the ones that are so narrow that the TP dispenser is on your lap. And don't even get me started on the overly eager automatic flushers that flush before you're done.
I dislike bathrooms that are built beside a bedroom. Large, echo-y bathrooms that are built beside a bedroom.
The moisture fans are so quiet nowadays. Dang new fangled technology.
You know those bathrooms. The ones where you can hear a mosquito fart in the ceiling vent.
From the living room.