So you say you want a resolution ...

My New Year's resolutions are the same vague get-organized, get-healthier and get-with-it crap I come up with every year. Why? Because the Everests I build cannot be surmounted with those vague promises. So instead of blathering on how 2006 Will Be Different, I turn over the blog to my 3-year-old son, The Cutlet, who will no doubt make some real changes in his life in the coming year. – Texas T-bone

Hi! I can't believe Daddy is letting me play with his computer. I also can't believe how well I know how to type and write simple, declarative sentences. Guess you'll have to suspend reality while you read my resolutions, even though I am a genius and the cutest 3-year-old boy this side of the Pecos. Uh, where's the Pecos?

My Top 10 Resolutions, by The Cutlet

1. I'll stop soiling my drawers and get on board with that whole Potty Thing.

2. I'll be less interested in videos about trains and start paying more attention to the ladies.

3. When I get frustrated, I'll think first before throwing Mr. Potato Head up against the wall.

4. I will learn to pick out my own clothes. They will match and I will look stylin'.

5. I will do my best to be sweet, loving and smart so Mommy and Daddy will be convinced to give me a little brother or sister. They keep mumbling things about needing "alone time," but I think this request is more important than that. I am 3, and it's about time I had someone of my own to boss around.

6. This will be the year I finally count up to 100.

7. I will not crash my new little yellow Jeep into a tree. I will not crash my new little yellow Jeep into a tree. I will not crash my little yellow Jeep into a tree.

8. Maybe I'll finally get up off my duff and get a job.

9. I'll try to convince Daddy to stop eating so much butter. I swear, one time I wandered into the kitchen and all he was eating was a tub of butter. That guy, you gotta watch him!

10. It's about time I organized my collection of 1,000 toys that have wheels. I was thinking of doing it by color, but really using the number of wheels may be the thing to do.

Happy New Year!