Our DSL service at home was supposed to be active on July 1. When I called the company, they discovered it is some sort of line problem that they will try to fix today. That got me to thinking about lines (such as pickup lines), and how they rarely work. Is it because they are transparent attempts for gain, or because they are just so cheesey?
For example ...
1. Hey baby, what's your sign?
2. Your legs must be really tired, because you've been running through my mind all night long.
3. I'm like the Eiffel Tower, up all night and able to cast a tall shadow, if you know what I mean.
4. (for computer geeks) I put the "it" in IT, baby.
5. (for avid sailors) Let's raise the mast and see how hard you can blow.
6. (for bloggers) Why don't you come back to my place and we can do some touch-typing?
7. (another for bloggers) Your wireless high-speed Internet connection or mine?
8. What would you like for breakfast tomorrow morning?
9. I like my women like I like my dogs: obedient and at my feet (note that I didn't say "eager to please and on a leash").
10. What's that on your lip? I think it's me.
Here's some possible comebacks to the lines above:
1. Stop. Yield. No Trespassing. No Parking. Towaway Zone.
2. Yeah, I know, I was trying to run away from you!
3. More like the Leaning Tower of Pisa, I bet.
4. You put the EEK in geek!
5. I think you've been capsized. Or is there some other reason your pants are wet?
6. Sorry, I only hunt and peck.
7. No thanks. The Internet is so five years ago.
8. A table for one.
9. I like my men like I like my imaginery friend: quiet and invisible.
10. No, that's a puss-filled zit on my lip. You're welcome to lick it if you want.
What's the best/worst lines you've ever used or heard?
It's been so long that I can't remember... :-)
"I'm doing a study on the mating habits of people in bars."
My reply, "Well, then aren't you biasing the study by becoming personally involved?"
Maybe I'm just stoopid, but I usually use the line "Hi, my name is Chris, is this seat taken" or something similar.
I know stoopid is misspelled, but it's a VERY lame attempt at a joke.
I blogged about this about a year ago and my all time favorite is .... "If you were a booger, I'd pick you first" or "Do you work at Kentucky Fried Chicken? Because you're finger lickin' good". I had a ton of them, but now that I'm officially off the market, I haven't really heard any good ones lately.
Hahahahaha..I'll have to use the pus-filled zit one sometime!
"Touch typing" has me cracking up!
Because you're finger lickin' good
I usually get a nice and normal - "Hi my name is___________."
I think the only *line* used on me was - "What are you drinking?" - and that's not really a cheesey line.
Guys in DC are boring ... they dive right into - "So where do you work?" or "What do you do?"
The worse one I've heard was actually in a movie. "Nice legs... What time do they open?"
And your number 5??? I've been a sailor for 18 years and I've never heard or used that one. LOL.
My favorite line ever, that never fails to crack me up:
*Lick your finger, touch their shirt, touch your shirt*
"Let's you and me get out of these wet clothes."