The Emperor's New Khaki Pants

Then the Emperor had an idea. He opened his pants drawer and took out a new pair of khaki pants he'd bought the other day. He slipped them on, checked himself in the mirror, and headed out to the kitchen. His wife didn't look up, as she was deep in thought while reading the morning newspaper.

"Did you find some?"

"Sure did. I'll see you tonight. Love you." And the Emperor strolled out to his chariot. He noticed how comfortable his new khaki pants were. The fit was so perfect, it was like he wasn't wearing pants at all.

The attendant at the parking garage chuckled. "Hey, mister. Did you forget something this morning?"

"Nope." The Emperor took his ticket and walked into the elevator. People already in there would not look the Emperor in the eye, but he figured it was because they were jealous of his new, perfect-fitting khaki pants.

"Good morning, Emperor," the receptionist said. "You're looking mighty stylish today."

"Thank you, Hannah. Is the big boss in?"

"He is. Shall I page him for you?"

"Nah, I'll surprise him."

And what a surprise the big boss got. He stared at the Emperor's new khaki pants for a full minute before slowly lifting his gaze to the Emperor's face. "Is this some kind of joke?"

"No joke, sir. I bought these pants the other day, and so far they have been the most freeing pair of pants I've ever worn. They are made of the finest material: breathable, stretchy and easy to clean."

The boss contemplated the Emperor's words for a few moments. Then he looked down at his own khaki pants. "Where can I get some of those pants, Emperor?"

"Wherever you go, that's where you'll find them. It's genius, isn't it? Thought of the idea today because my old khaki pants hadn't been ironed."

"Yes, it is genius, but ..."

"Come on, what are you afraid of? If we all wear the same khaki pants all the time anyway, aren't we on an already even playing field? Don't my pants cut through the bull to make us equals faster and more effectively?"

"I guess you're right."

The door opened and the receptionist pretended to be working. She had heard pieces of the muffled conversation through the door. Laughter burst through it as it swung open. "New khaki pants for everyone!" the boss declared.

Hannah gazed down at her khaki skirt and suddenly had new khaki-pants envy. "The man is always keeping us girls down. Not today! I'm going to wear new khaki pants, too!" She took off her skirt and slid on a pair of new khaki pants. She felt free for the first time since she was a little kid, eating sand and chasing after butterflies.

"Emperor, I'm a little concerned about the seats in the cafeteria. They're metal, won't they be cold when we sit down?"

"No, boss. Mind over matter will get us through."

New khaki pants for everyone!