Never thought I'd gush about a potty, but lemme tell ya, The American Standard "Champion" toilet rocks the block. The instructions that came with ours says you can flush an entire turkey down the toilet's gullet and it won't clog. Might smell a little fowl, but most things sent groundward through the pipes isn't the subject of potpurri. I'm not being paid for this endorsement, but if any of the A.S. folks want to send some money my way, I'm all for it.
It's not really amazing, just annoying how for-granted we take such luxuries as indoor plumbing, or hot water, or electricity. We're suddenly aware when things don't work correctly or at all. We've got some friends whose hot-water heater was broken for four weeks. FOUR WEEKS. Yeah, like my wife would have tolerated that situation for four hours.
Back on the hot seat topic of a potty, we've got two bathrooms in our house, both of which are in various states of working order. The hall bath still has the original toilet, vintage 1964, and it's on its last legs (or rolls). It's the potty that time forgot for a number of reasons, not the least of which it is ugly and we've replaced the tank innards enough times to practically buy a new toilet.
Toilet technology didn't advance for decades, and then not that long ago someone got the brilliant idea to make them flush using less water. At times, low-flow toilets can prove to be a really crappy idea. However, since those federal regulations went into effect, top-tier toilet makers have come up with ways to pressurize that minimal amount of water and blow poo and whatever else out of your house at speeds approaching Mach 5. Kohler, American Standard and others now have supermodel potties that turn typical gravity toilets green with envy (at least I hope that's envy).
Tomorrow I'm going to buy a second Champion Toilet to replace our aging, leaky, nasty, bad-flushing dinosaur. It will improve our lives on so many fronts:
• We can have people over without having "the talk" that if they need to go No. 2, they need to either hold it or visit the master bathroom.
• If two people really have to go, it can be done simultaneously rather than with one person on the hot seat and the other shouting obscenities and forceful hurry-up encouragement. Those times really left us down in the dumps.
• The current toilet's seat is broken, so we wouldn't have to add to "the talk" that lack of care could give users a butt bath (or "instant unintentional bidet experience").
• I can put the plunger in the garage instead of on Defcon 1 patrol in the corner of the bathroom.
• Once "it's" gone, it's gone for good. No more reruns or sudden flashbacks!
• We can leave magazines and books in the bathroom to encourage quality time on our new throne.
• Fresh porcelain will be easier to clean than the 40-year buildup of other people's pee stains and whatnot that has become part of the olde toilette's surface. It's a wonder the thing has remained this long.
Flushed with success, I will now put a lid on the whole issue.
It certainly is nice to see someone so excited about something.
*groan*
Boy howdy, I know what you mean! The toilets in our house are AWESOME! They're probably the old water guzzlers, but I can sacrifice my environmental conscience on this one issue.
We have one of those "rerun" toilets in our hall bathroom too. You're so lucky to be getting a new one! :)
LOL!! I think this is the first time I have ever read a post about toilets. Rock on!
That's pretty funny!
In once broke the toilet seat in my dorm bathroom in college. My roommates almost died laughing.
Gushing, flushing and a little fowl...
You are obviously benefitting from your wordsmith exercises! (And thusly, your readers reap the rewards of being able to spew coffee onto their work monitors)
LOL. Upon moving into our new Navy owned house in the Seattle area, we were introduced to the new "Pressurized Poo" type of throne. Took a while to get used to because each flush is accompanied by a small explosive sound and if it were possible to form a good seal around the seat, the suction caused by the venturi effect would hold you down like a suction cup on a window. Good news, as you pointed out, is that our plunger has now gone into semi-retirement only to come out for the toughest of tasks.