Easily spoiled

Shamu says Hi
There's not really enough to do at the 250-acre park over two days, unless you have a little one in tow and want to spend a couple of shorter days rather than one really really long day. This was a smart move, sort of, and we scored two-days-for-the-price-of-one Internet tickets.

1. Take a stroller. You can rent one, but this way we had a way to shuttle all our necessaries and the Cutlet from the parking lot to the park. (It's also good to have a stroller at the River Walk, except that you've got to find the wheelchair-accessible ramps to get there).

2. Use a bunch of sunscreen. Sea World is, after all, mostly outdoors.

3. Plan to wait in long lines for things such as seeing the signature Shamu killer-whales shows or buying a tray of little fish to feed to the dolphins.

4. Don't put off tomorrow what you can do today. I wanted to go to the Anheuser-Busch "Beer School," but ran out of time on Sunday. On Monday, there were fewer classes and it filled up rather quickly, like a balding, slightly pudgy middle-aged man's beer-bloated bladder.

5. Believe them when they tell you that the water at the Shamu show is ice cold, manmade saltwater. Also believe them when they say the shows fill up. We found seats outside the "splash zone," but we thought it might be nice if one of us took the Cutlet up front for a closer seat. I did that, changed my mind because suddenly he was too short to see any of the above-water action, so I took him back. My seat had been taken by a teen-ager and her two friends! So I dropped the Cutlet off with the Petite Filet and sat in the splash zone by myself. Yes, the water is ice cold. Yes, you get more than splashed – you get soaked. Yes, it's also very salty. Yes, it's refreshing. Yes, it will damage sensitive electronic equipment (not mine, the PF had it). Yes, the show is a blast and should not be missed.

6. Monday at the park was a lot busier than Sunday. It's Spring Break for a lot of schools around here, but the majority of families seemed to be like ours: a couple of adults and younger-than-school-age children. Go figure.

7. Prepare to spend a bunch of money on mediocre food, or plan to sneak in some mediocre food of your own. Across our two days, we did both. On Day 2, with contraband peanut-butter sandwiches at the ready, we were less than satisfied but hadn't dropped $25 for soggy club sandwiches, tangy potato salad and a kid's meal in a collectible plastic Shamu tote. The Cutlet was munching on a quarter of a smuggled peanut-butter sandwich when a Texas Department of Health officer walked up and asked him what he was munching on. She asked us if it was our first time there; we told her it was our second day. She told us the Cutlet was cute and to enjoy our time at Sea World. *whew* I thought we were going down for suspicion of possession of prohibited foodstuffs.

8. Don't let your 2-year-old see the play area unless you're prepared to climb up some rope netting, crawl through a little tunnel, or walk on swaying rope bridges and slide down a tubey slide yourself. Parents must accompany their young children on the obstacle course, no matter what kind of shape you're in. If yours is an adventurous child (that's my boy swinging from the safety netting), be prepared to sweat, get rope burn and embarrass yourself among the other parents trying to keep up with their kids. It was fun, but the Cutlet would have loved to stay there all freakin' day long.

9. Take a bunch of cash. This applies to your time within Sea World, and your time without. Many places cater to the large Hispanic resident population in San Antonio, and for whatever reasons, they use mostly cash.

10. Souvenirs are expensive, but they're a bargain compared to Disney World. Think like that and you won't mind paying $40 for kiddie flip-flops with holographic images of Shamu on them that make dolphin noises when walked upon. We found a little T-shirt for the Cutlet that was a lot less. And, of course, we have his plastic Shamu lunch tote to keep forever and ever.

Bonus: If you're staying on the west side of San Antonio to be near Sea World, good luck finding a supermarket. The closest one to us was in a neighborhood in which you wouldn't want to be caught in at night. At least without bullet-proof windows.

A note to those driving to San Antonio: stay off Interstate 35. We took 35 down, and were (like usual) stopped by the Austin traffic. With Saturday being the final day of the South by Southwest festival, traffic was even heavier and dumber than normal. On the way back, as mentioned before, we took the "back way," although Highway 281 is still a major road. It gave us a glimpse of Texas we often forget in the Dallas-Fort Worth Metroplex; one that actually looks like "Texas." We also found Marble Falls, future home of T-bone and the Petite Filet. And the only traffic hangups we had was when the road temporarlily narrowed to two lanes and we got stuck behind slow drivers before being able to pass them.

Gasoline is expensive, folks, but getting away can be a cheap form of therapy. We hope to take a few weekend overnighters before August, when we will take a week to go to Colorado. How about you? Going anywhere?