1. "I've got all the tools I need."
2. "That sure is a lovely gown."
3. "Do these workboots make my feet look fat?"
4. "I love the horsepower in my 1986 Yugo GT."
5. "I broke up with her because all she wanted was sex sex sex. She never wanted to talk about her feelings, cuddle or go shoe shopping."
6. "I'll have a white-wine spritzer."
7. "Is that Prada?"
8. "Mr. Pickle Pants is going to tickle wickle you!"
9. "Let's eat cheesecake and watch Oprah."
10. "I don't feel gassy today, and that's a good thing."
Bonus: "I feel like having a good cry."
* Sure, there are men who might say these things. But come on, ladies, would your kind of man say them? I think not.
10 things a Manly Man might say
1. "Ooooh, an 18-volt chuckless, cordless impact drill!"
2. "My favorite shirt has pictures of fish on it."
3. "Watch your mouth or you're going to get a steeltoe workboot where the sun doesn't shine."
4. "That thing got a Hemi?"
5. "My woman's hott."
6. "Beer. And it had better not be low-carb nancy-ass beer, either."
7. "Is that Black & Decker?"
8. "Stop kicking my dog!"
9. "I want extra cheese and extra pepperoni."
10. "Whoa, who fired that shot?"
Bonus: "I could really go for a steak and some potatoes right about now."
Seriously, it's not about being tough, or a redneck, or dense. Being a man means shouldering necessary burdens, giving everyone the respect they deserve (no more, no less) and never having to choose honesty, but living it every day. An idealistic goal, for sure, but one that is hardly ever met any more. The lists could go on and on, but I'll end with a few tips on being a man:
• Handshakes should be firm, not a deathgrip and not like grasping a cold, dead fish.
• Look people in the eye. Don't be so shifty.
• You don't have to prove anything if you do the right thing.
• Nobody's perfect.
• Use tenderness when appropriate.
• Stand up for yourself and the ones you love.
Hell, there are things on that list that I won't say:
#1-There will never be enough tools. I've got some gadgets in my toolbox that even my boyfriend doesn't have and has found useful. Though his toolbox is bigger than mine. My little plastic sorting tray pales in comparison to his metal slide drawer system.
#6-I'm more of a whisky sour kind of girl :)
#7-High heeled shoes are just a sparkly socially accepted torture device. Though heels on boots are just fun for much ass kickery.
But as for my guy. Probably nothing on the list but #10. There's been alot of nocturnal flatulence lately on his part, and being unusually gassy is supposed to be my superpower.
I can safely say I have never heard my man say any of things on the first list! (I haven't even said most of the things on the first list! LOL!)
Yep, never was one for the mousy type...must be why I ended up with a U.S. Marine! LOL!
Great lists today, T. That is all. (And, really, isn't that enough?)
hate tools. don't have any. will just pay others to fix shit.
How about, "It's been a long day at the office. I REALLY need to exfoliate!"
My friend's new male roommate said that to her. And he's straight.
Good list. There are things to add to your second list that I constantly hear sailors say (both male and female) that are not appropriate for any public website. And being on an aircraft carrier, I meet new people almost every day and it sort of gives me the willies when I shake the dude's hand and there's no force behind it. Like you said, it's like a cold dead fish.
Have a great day.