Most of us have been there. A party – holiday or otherwise – at which things got a little out of hand, or things got just plain weird. Sometimes, that party happens to be an office party, or at least one at which co-workers are present. Much like that "Seinfeld" episode when Elaine dances at an office party and instantly loses respect, any type of socializing with co-workers has its dangers. But it can also bring workers closer together. Especially if they have to think of somebody to bail them out of jail at the end of the night.
I recently received a press release about a survey that asked about the more memorable office-party experiences ...
(From the release, with my comments below each one:)
• "A guy danced on the table in a chicken suit."
Being bold is dancing naked on the table.
• "A woman loaded her purse with hors d'oevres."
Sounds like my granny at Golden Corral.
• "Someone threw another guest in a swimming pool."
That's one way to get a wet T-shirt contest going.
• "The president of the company dressed as a cow."
Was it a Chick-Fil-A party?
• "The party offered a hypnotist, and some co-workers started acting like monkeys."
The zoo was never the same.
• "A guy climbed up a telephone pole."
I'd only be impressed if he didn't spill any of his drink on the way up.
• "We were hitting a piñata, and someone got whacked with a stick."
The person who got hit should have been forewarned when his office nickname mystically became "Mr. Piñata Head" a few days before the party.
• "A woman wore a transparent dress."
This may have been the Grammy Awards. And I bet it was more than one woman.
• "People had a water balloon fight."
That's an elaborate scheme. It takes a lot more planning than just getting drunk and thinking, 'My Christmas card this year should be 500 copies of my butt.'
• "Someone threw a drink at another person."
Sounds like someone was watching on one of my dates a few years back.
The strangest thing I ever did was meet my future wife at a work-related party. This wasn't a work-sanctioned party, but rather just a Friday Night Drunk Fest/Farewell Party for someone who was moving out of town. Besides introducting myself and us chit-chatting a bit, it wouldn't be until after a New Year's (1998) party at my house that we'd really hit it off, become really good friends and then suddenly find ourselves a couple.
For you single peeps, be wary of holiday parties (particularly New Year's where people pair off just before the year changes). You might go home with a lot more than you expected, but the effects may be more rewarding, surprising and wonderful than you ever imagined. Or it may start hurting when you pee. For goodness sake, be careful out there!
What's the strangest thing you've done or seen at a party, holiday or otherwise?
I'd just met a couple at D.'s Christmas party last year. He didn't really know the gentleman that well, and his wife and I were casually chatting.
About an hour into the party (after the open bar), we were upstairs where a lady that works at D.'s company saw someone she knew and leaned over the railing to wave and say hello.
The wife that I'd been chatting with earlier walked up to her and called her a "slut". Loudly. This caught my attention. The (rather-stunned) girl turned and called her a "bitch". The wife said "don't you know how to dress and behave at your own work party?" (Priceless.) They kept up the name-calling, and the wife (whom I'd just met) turned around and saw me. She said "Kelly - don't you this this girl is a slut?"
I was mortified. I looked at D., and skulked down the stairs as quickly as possible.
The wife proceeded to go out to the car to get a tire iron. I think she was going to rearrange some body parts, but her husband managed to get her back in the car and out of the party.
The funny thing is this a consulting firm. A black-tie event. All you had to do was mix in plenty of free alcohol.
Lessee, sex in the bathroom.
a girl (not my wife) with a mini-skirt and no panties dancing in front of me, while I am sitting on a chair, flashing me.
A gorgeous Swedish nanny jumping into a pool with no clothes.
*sigh....the good ol' days.
Hmmm... well, I've seen a coworker jump on a table and do a rousing dance to that song "Strokin" -- this was what like 12-13 yrs ago, when we still had FORMAL Xmas parties? In those days, the company parties were still hook up parties, as many were single and young, young, young....
But we had a classic company party in which we found out that we'd been bought -- by a telecom "HO", and that while he claimed the future was bright, we knew we were doomed... (and we were).....
So this jetsetter threw a party in an opulent hotel's banquet room, complete with ice sculptures -- to assuage our fears.
It wound up being some weirdass hook up party with people found in the strangest places. A couple was found in betwixt hanging coats in a coat rack -- IN the back of the BANQUET room. Uh, duh, you're in a hotel? That's the best place you could find? Yeah, and they were both married to other people. Whoops! 12 yrs later and people still talk about Greg and Jennifer in the coat rack...
Yeah, I'm pretty happy that I've never been *that* girl...
My boss is from Australia. He had a few too many at last year's Christmas Party. He danced like a Kangaroo for almost an hour to the latest R & B hits provided by a horrible DJ. He is a very reserved chap most of the time, but he loosened up to the extreme. We'll never let him forget.
Well, I wasn't there, but after nearly 8 weeks on the jury it felt like I was:
At the official company party a machinist kept hitting on the CEO's wife. Endlessly until it had escalated to the point that the guy suggested a cure for her cold that involved performing a sex act on him.
The boss was unaware of the advance until the official party ended and a group of (mainly) executives was walking back to an adjacent hotel, where an after party was to ensue in one of the room of one of the execs.
When the machinist showed up at the after party, the boss knew he had been hitting on his wife, but he didn't know the details. Suddenly, he spots the machinist ("WTF is that guy even doing here?") talking to the wife and they have words.
The boss then becomes aware of the medical advice/sexual advance. He slugs the machinist, knocking him down. The machinist fell back over a small bench, which collapsed under his weight.
The machinist (now allegedly unable to work because of his alleged back injury) sues the boss for the injury, lost wages and assault and battery.
6774 yo yo ma