Changing the World

• We won't ever all agree, but wouldn't it be great if we could see both sides of an issue clearly and without bias before making a decision?

• All motorized vehicles would be made out of cardboard and have 2-horsepower engines to minimize injuries in accidents. The engines would run on mashed potatoes and high-octane gravy.

• Besides hot and cold running water, I'd want hot and mild running salsa at my house. And plenty of tortilla chips delivered to my door each day, piping hot and lightly salted.

• There would be a 30-day waiting period on mean words, deconstructive criticism and pointless rhetoric.

• Wars would be fought with whiffle bats and banana-cream pies.

• Children would remain children until they're not children anymore.

• All bacon would be cooked to a crisp, but not burned.

• Vegetarians and meat-eaters would cook acceptable dinners for each other at lavish dinner parties.

• The American economy would pause each day at 1:15 p.m. to allow its workers to have 45-minute siestas. I've heard this practice isn't even all that common in Mexico's hustle-and-bustle world now. Whatta shame.

• When someone lies, that tall tale is written all over his or her face.

• Every other day, pancakes are free.

• Every person on earth will witness at least one of God's miracles, and it will change their lives for the better.

• There aren't any TV shows that ask people to eat worms and stuff.

• Losing weight would be really easy, and getting healthy would be more fun.

• Bicycles would be more welcome on our nation's roadways.

• We'd all get paid to blog.

Food is at the center of too many of these. I guess I shouldn't blog when I'm hungry!