Have you ever been somewhere and heard other people having sex? Isn’t that weird? Maybe it’s worse if you know both of them exceed 400 pounds, or they are friends of yours or, worse, your parents.
Push all those thoughts aside, and pretend there are strangers on the other side of the wall. You’re alone. It’s dark. Are you disgusted at the noises? Do you try to ignore them? Do you try to get a better listen? Do you fantasize about them? Does it turn you on? Do you, um, touch yourself? And really, do I want to know your answers to those questions?
Here’s a few times I’ve heard the sounds of love, with my thoughts at the time in italics:
• 1988. Spending the night at a friend’s house on a Friday night. His parents are apparently keeping their weekly appointment with Cupid’s pimp. We hear some whispers and a faint banging of the headboard against the wall.
Ewww. Your parents are doing it! Gross!
• 1994. College dorm room, about 11 p.m. on a weeknight. Someone on the floor below is creaking the bedsprings and apparently launching his girlfriend into orbit. She alternates moaning and groaning with delight and yelling, “Don’t stop!”
That’s pretty hot. Hope I remembered to do all my homework.
• 2000. Vacation with the Petite Filet to celebrate our first wedding anniversary. We’re in the same motel we spent our honeymoon week in 1999 in Galveston, Texas. We’ve had our hot, steamy (yet discreet) tryst of the morning and are getting ready to go shopping. The people in the room next to us start to get busy, and the psuedo-headboard, which is nailed to the wall, starts to bang. We can hear the bedsprings creak a little, but that’s about it.
That’s pretty hot. When’s lunch?
Sometimes throwing discretion to the wind and going wild and crazy – in bed or otherwise – is (obviously) a lot of fun. I'm just of the mind that it’s better when it’s just between me and the PF. Even when we got a little crazy and made sweet hot lovin’ in a boat, in a tent, in the shower, or at her parents' house while they were sleeping in the next room – it was between us. That is at least what I think (humble opinion alert) marital sex should be about. I know when I was single an appropriate place for sex was wherever I was with a willing partner.
Anyhow, be careful out there this weekend, folks! If you decide to bang your headboard, by all means, use protection: helmets can save lives.
hmm, i think it's got to be situational if it's "hot" or "not".
but then again ... :)
slipping a pair of socks between the headboard and the wall helps.
um, i've heard.
Freshman year, my dorm room, my roommate snuck his girlfriend into the room. They "went to town" not 4 feet away in his bed. Trying to be quiet but... I pretended to be asleep. Big smile in the morning.
They coulda asked if I wanted a turn.
My cousin and I were on a road trip following Todd Snider shows. We stayed in a hotel in Little Rock, that had paper thin walls. And I think they may of rented rooms by the hour. It was surround sound sex minus the visual.
We sat around drinking beer and laughing until about 4 in the morning because of it.
Yes T Bone, sometimes its cool to listen, others, it can be damn annoying especially when you want to sleep and you're the only one in your bed! :-(
Heard? What about SAW? Like last night at the Cure concert right on the lawn...
My old roomate used to sound like he was a safari animal. The sound would start low and then to a volume that the whole block can hear. It's more comical than stimulating :) My wife like to make cute noises, but beggers can't be choosers!!
Hearing my Dad have sex with my future "Mom" wasn't the greatest thing for me when I was 11. I've never been keen to hearing people go at it since then.
Stupid baggage.
if i hear them i like to make it a contest of whos loudest... :)
When stationed in VA we had neighbors in the apartment above us. We really didn't need to set our alarm. Like clockwork, squeak, squeak, squeak went the bedsprings and then you would hear the shower kick on and then it was time for us to get up, hahaha.
What worries me is that you remember the date and times so vividly.