Basic Transportation

It's a Chevrolet Cavalier four-door sedan, its most redeeming quality being the bright red paint it wears. Now, there's nothing wrong with this car, and if you drive one, it's not that bad. But here are my beefs with it:

• The steering wheel isn't exactly round. I'm befuddled as to which manual on ergonomics the designers consulted to arrive at the oblong shape. It certainly promotes the 10-and-2 hand position – but it's still weird.

• It lacks power windows and door locks. I grew up with my mom's old four-door car that lacked power locks. That meant each door had to be unlocked and locked individually. Pain! Moreover, the Chevy's door locks are on the sides of the door panels, so it's hard to check all four doors from outside to see if they're locked. I can do without power windows (which have failed at some point on almost every car I've owned), although that's a nice feature when you're in the car by yourself and want to feel the wind in your hair and smog in your lungs on demand.

• There's no apparent way to adjust the passenger-side sideview mirror. I was stopped at a stoplight yesterday hunting for one when I accidentally popped the trunk (another no-no; many cars disengage the auto-release feature unless the vehicle is in park). That was me sitting in traffic with the trunk flapping in the breeze. A couple in a car next to me even rolled down a window and pointed. I smiled and shrugged at them as if to say, "The trunk button is in a bad place. What can a guy do?" My James Bond driving skills, and the fact the trunk lid is heavier on the bottom, meant that will a little creative acceleration I was able to slam the trunk shut without getting out.

• It smells. This is a product of the rental car company's cleaning products, however. The odor is the automotive equivalent of a cheap motel.

• The acceleration isn't bad. The automatic transmission's shift points are placed to get the car moving from a standstill fairly well. I even beat a Camaro off the line at a stoplight, probably because the driver of that car didn't realize we were racing.

• It's low to the ground. This is only a problem for someone accustomed to SUVs and pickup trucks. People who have never driven either of those larger vehicles for a period of time don't understand; they put you in a commanding position on the road. Visibility is better. You feel powerful. Then it can go to your head and you start driving too fast and flip over several times. And the larger vehicles can drive themselves to gas stations. I know I'm not sounding environmental by holding up these trucks as wonderful. The fact is, I don't know how my parents managed with two little cars. The SUV is great for trips with the Cutlet, all our stuff, and sometimes the dog. The pickup is great for home projects and towing things (wood chippers, boats, shower units). We USE our vehicles for more than just going to the mall or grocery store – unlike many other people with overblown Hummers and dainty little Lexus SUVs. Don't hate me because my truck is BIGGER than yours. Don't mind the mud. Get out of my way.

Overall, I realize we are blessed that no one was injured in the accident – nobody in our car and not the guy who caused it in the other. The crunched Family Truckster got my family home safe to me. We are also blessed that the accident was not the Petite Filet's fault, and the other guy's insurance is covering the cost of repairs and of a rental car for as long as it takes. I am complaining in jest. Because my office is about 10 miles from home, I know I'd have a lot more to complain about if I had to walk.

Plus, because our pickup's air conditioning is acting up, I drove that to work today and let the PF and Cutlet enjoy the sights, smells and strange ergonomics that come with the Chevy. If I could change only one small thing about that car, it would be to make the Enterprise sticker larger so that nobody would think we bought it.

Have a great day! Drive friendly, ya hear?