At 85 years old, she still laughs the same way I remember. Wouldn't have mattered much had the sound been different. The ability to laugh at any age is a gift.
My grandmother – Mom Mom – has all but lost her short-term memory and a large chunk of her past.
She lives in an assisted-living facility (the politically corrected version of “old-folks’ home”). She carries her purse with her every place she goes. She wears her considerable age on the outside, but the inside is generally healthy. She has lost a few of her physical faculties. We think she doesn’t recognize my mom as her daughter, but does know her as someone she likes and trusts. The Petite Filet and I had to be re-introduced to her. She would gaze lovingly at the Cutlet, but repeatedly ask how old he was. But she can still laugh.
We visited her Saturday after a day spent with my parents, sister, her son and her husband. We ate a lot and laughed a lot. To me, happy laughter (as opposed to evil cackles) is the essence of life audibly manifested. Like hugs, you can never have too much of it. Laughter is like life support when you feel a coma setting in. It can’t solve all ills, but it can make them more palatable. More or less.
Time flies when you look backward. Just yesterday, I strolled gallantly and pompously over the bridge from 19 to my 20s. I blinked, and the decade was gone. Suddenly, I had a college degree, a wife, a mortgage and a son. Now, staring down the shiny barrel that is 30 (the trigger is pulled Wednesday), I wonder where the time went. I have the battle scars, but don’t remember the war. I know my 20s made me who I am, as did all the previous 20 years. But where did they go?
Ah, don’t think I am mourning my lost youth. Physically, I may not be as thin as I was at 23, but I’m in better shape. I can outrun, outride and outplay the old me. Mentally, it’s taken this long to figure out who I am. No, I don’t mean careerwise – that journalism degree I earned eight years ago still applies. But I’ve found my place, my rhythm, who I was built to be. It’s about striving, not about reaching the goal. After all, one’s life is a constant work in progress. To reach the summit is to lay down and die. I’m still climbing!
Back in the olden days of journalism, “30” was used to signify the end of a newspaper story. That being my impending age I wanted to find out why.
The first source I found hinted at “30” being a telegram code ending a dispatch. However, the source was inconclusive and didn’t sound right to me. So I kept digging.
Someone else found another answer for me. If you know anything about the news business and the way certain practices evolved, it will ring true for you. Apparently, news articles were written and tagged with “The End” when finished. However, the press workers, in their ever-present “print everything you’re given” state of mind, would print “The End” in the newspaper. So the practice changed to add “XXX” at the end of stories to keep “The End” out of print. Eventually, through laziness or obvious humor, the three X’s – 30 in Roman numerals – was subbed for the Arabic “30.” Anyone who has an alternate explanation, please tell me.
Life doesn’t begin at 30. God willing, the middle or the end is not at 30, either. It’s just a continuation. Another notch on the timeline. Just a number. A gateway to the rest of it. Am I happy to be turning 30? Sure. Am I scared or angry about it? Not at all. Prefer aging to the alternative. Plus, when it comes down to it, I’ve been so close to 30 for the past several months that the final straw didn’t even slow down the camel. I have much to be thankful for, and somehow that makes every coming year more special.
Embrace the age you are and look forward to whatever is next. Some days will be better than those before. Some will be worse. That’s life. Might as well stand tall, look life right in the eye and laugh. That’s my plan. Even when, if granted the privilege, I’m about to turn 85.
I was in foster care when my grandmother got put in an "assited-Living Facility". At that point I hadn't seen my grandmother in about three or four years. I got to see her one more time before she did. When she saw me she started saying my name. Even though she had had a stroke and barely had use of her hands, she squeezed my hand as best she could. That for me is one of the best memories I will ever have.
You've got a beautiful attitude. It's not the number, it's the way you live. Enjoy your life, be happy, do good work. There will be difficult times, but you'll get through those, too. Continue making memories - it's the simple things you'll look back on later. It will be the things the cutlet remembers someday as well.
(btw - there must be something in the air today - I've been tripping down memory lane myself. Have a great day!)
Great post, T-bone. Growing older/aging is something that really bothers a great deal of people. Yet, you're right - it's just a number, just another stitch in your time.
Every day, every birthday, is a blessing. And a laugh is one of the most beautiful things in the world.
aging is such a fascinating process. i've been looking at the 96 year life of someone lately, and it just breaks my heart to think of how limited things become towards the end. i'm so glad that your family goes to see your grandmother, and laughs, and keeps her company. there's nothing better that you could do. i think we young ones think that 30 is old... and it's not. hell, for me i feel like i'm just at the beginning. it's what we do with these years that count. let's make 'em count! (also, as an aside... what a great story about the ends of articles!)
People are like wine: they just get better with age. I just turned 32 and wouldn't go back to 29 if you paid me. :)
Happy Birthday, buddy. I don't know anyone who gets excited about turning thirty.
I'm feeling guilty....gonna go see the grandparents right away.
I'm 18 months from turing 30 ... i have NO idea why I'm scared!
oh yea! HAPPY BIRTHDAY!
Happy Birthday!!! I look at my age as a fine wine ~ it only gets better with age ~ I actually have to calculate every year to remember my age and it seems the calaculations have me looking down the barrel of age 40 but I don't even feel like I'm in my 30's so age is just a number right? LOL
Amen! I'll be thirty in April and I really haven't been looking forward to it. But I can say that I'm comming to grips with it. I'm also proud to look as good as I do cuz I'm way hotter now than I was 10 years ago. Anyways, Happy Birthday tomorrw TBone! Have a great one turning 30!
'You make me happy, sometimes you make me blue...'
I was au-pairing in England when my grandmother had her first heart attack. I was in Boston getting my heart broken and visiting a friend when she had her second. But I made it back home before her third and last one struck. I spent an afternoon talking about old days, laughing at how I once got myself lost and was taken to the police station, where a very angry grandaunt picked me up. And I got to hold my grandmother's hand when she died, which I'm very glad for.
Happy birthday next Wednesday, mate! If I'm anything to judge by, you'll love being thirty.
Good post T Bone.
I have very similar feelings about laughter, hence the reason why I treasure R&R time spent with family and bredrens. Also another reason why I post the occasional joke.
As you say, age is just a number. My 40th is next week Wednesday! It is how we feel about our lives and our place in the world that makes the difference. I suppose you could call it finding your 'niche'. I think you have found yours. I believe I have found many aspects of mine, though I still feel I have a lot more that I would like to do in my time here on earth.
Happy Birthday guy. If the internet was a great as they say it is I would e-mail you a bottle of VX! ;-)
Remember to laugh tomorrow and I would love to read a few of your hot XXX Articles! :-)))) (Oops, I forgot this is a family blog!)
I have found, working with older people, I often think about how fast time flies by and how sweet life is. That's right, enjoy every moment of it. Your grandmother's ability to laugh in spite of it all, is a great example :)
I have found, working with older people, I often think about how fast time flies by and how sweet life is. That's right, enjoy every moment of it. Your grandmother's ability to laugh in spite of it all, is a great example :)
Feliz Cumpleanos, T-bone!
Wanted to be the first one to wish you a Happy 30th Bday ON your actual bday, but I'm too tired to wait up...
I can pretend I'm on East coast time though...
HAPPY 30th BIRTHDAY!
My friend says, "...it's NOT the age, it's the stage..."
Wondered if he meant an actual tangible stage - as a performer may play on... (the guy is kind of a goofball)
But, I'm sure he meant the stage of life... and you are in your prime -- with all of life's goodness around you.
And just wait, if you think 30 is good... 35 ROCKS... :)
Embrace your 30-ness. As someone who is closer to 35 than I ever thought I'd be, I have to say I've enjoyed every minute of it!
By the way, I think in your time zone, it's your birthday right now. Enjoy your day!
Happy Birthday!
My mom's parents died when I was in elementary school. But my dad's folks are still a huge part of my life.
They've been married for 58 years. I am blessed that they're both healthy (my grandpa is 87 and my vavo is 80), active and involved in my life.
My one regret is that I don't live closer to them. My grandmother writes me once a week and we talk constantly. I cannot fathom what my life will be like without her in it.