Say what?

1. You'd be surprised at how often surprises come, even beneath the umbrella of a longterm sweet, blissful love relationship. The last time I was in crazy love, I was 20 and about as smart in heart matters as a box of dead chickens. The Yeti

2. For some reason, the word "zoo" means super fun to me as well. I haven't been in YEARS, as in 15 years or more. But now we have a baby who responds positively to animals, we'll be heading back very soon. I'm so stoked! Wrong Side of Happiness

3. I had to switch from tachi to tanto, then eventually to a Schrade Old Timer pocketknife. The sword was interfering with my stealthiness. It kept clanging against the loose change in my pocket. But that was back when I was a warrior. Now I’m just a cube dweller without a reason to fight. Gimpy Leg

4. It's about time to get my not-so-perfect peepers inspected again. I have astigmatism and near-sightedness. Ack. I think I need to be fitted for wearable binoculars. Secret Agent Josephine

5. The "Britney is Skanky" pirate haiku:
Arrr little princess
Such a skank, please walk the plank
You can't swab my deck
The Sarcastic Journalist

6. Go out and find yourself a decent guy – decent is the key. So many of us are complete idiots who only make life more difficult. Opinion X

7. The relationship is more symbiotic than a battle of wills. She balances the checkbook, I mow the lawn. We share a lot of duties, we split others. Really, there are things each of us does better than the other. It's not a power play to me, it's in the name of efficiency and happiness. When we argue, it's about dumb little things because the big things are primarily taken care of. Perfect? Not at all. But it works for us. Enflux

8. Maybe I can get some financial backing for my weekend one-man show of "Grocery Shopping" because I am really really hungry. It's off-off Broadway, but such a wonderful production! Joe Cuth-The-Shit

9. I love the change of seasons. In Texas, the transition doesn't last long enough. While cooler weather is welcome, I usually hang on to wearing shorts as long as possible. Long pants, even jeans, are just too confining! I wanna break free! So it will be November/December before I dress for reality. In the meantime, got a blanket? Anima

10. Leonard tried to look inconspicuous at the apartment-complex gym, doing his best to fit in wearing jeans and a well-starched Hawaiian shirt. He knew others would find his outfit strange, but it was all the clothes he had in the world. After escaping the South Dallas sweatshop where he had been enslaved for 12 years, he stole a Van Huesen® Hawaiian-style shirt, a pair of Guess® Jeans, a woven leather belt and matching Topsiders® from the assembly line. He lived in a cardboard box around the corner, living off scraps and gourmet garbage from the residents. Now he knew it was time to get into shape, but because of the years at the sweatshop, his stamina was feeble. Plus, he was constantly drawn to that box filled with motion pictures and sound – someone had called it a tee vee – that he had to stop and watch what was going on every few minutes. Bathtub Gin

I'm such a dork, but at least I spread my dorkiness over many blogs during the course of a week.

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