FLIRT
Flirt, and the world flirts with you. Sulk, and you sulk alone.
I’ve read different things about flirting lately: flirting is hard; flirting is easy; flirting is healthy; flirting sends the wrong signals; flirting is for singles only; married people can join the fray.
To me, flirting is:
1. Fun.
2. Dangerous.
3. Harmless.
4. Healthy.
5. Contagious.
6. An innocent diversion.
7. A guilty pleasure.
8. A lost art.
9. Often misunderstood.
10. Sometimes a prelude to something else, but not always.
Some people flirt to find romance, friendship or sex. Others flirt to be friendly with no strings.
When you are (happily) married and not looking for trouble, flirting takes on a different tone. Flirting to at least one married woman is like ketchup. My intention is generally to flatter a woman while making it clear that 1) I am not available for more than banter 2) To me it’s just a way to be friendly 3) It makes life more fun and has the potential to make someone’s day (including my own).
The most important person to flirt with is your significant other (if you have one). It helps keep your relationship on its toes and adds some zest to “How was your day?” discussions.
Flirting is at its best like dancing. The steps include words, eye contact, smiling, gestures or merely words themselves. Flirting, like dancing, should not be forced. It should be easy and follow the rhythm of the conversation. It may not be well-received (it takes two to tango) and it’s no longer flirting if it becomes threatening or uncomfortable for either party. Stepping on toes does not a good dance/flirt session make.
Internet/blog flirting is a different animal. In a way it’s easier because you can choose words carefully without facing a killer silence that could end a real-world conversation. The response is, like the original message, written and therefore not the coy hair-tossing, arm-touching endeavor it can be in real life. Distance and its accompanying lack of human touch render it a bit less dangerous and less rewarding. But online flirting still promotes friendliness, can be encouraging and, at the right times and with the right tone, can still make someone’s day.
There are guidelines and etiquette, especially for married people who want to remain happily married (never cross certain lines, never lie and always wear your wedding ring). For the single ones, the rules can be rewritten with each encounter. Go with the flow. Keep it friendly and nonthreatening. Spread some love. Why are you still here? Flirt!
What does flirting mean to you? Do you flirt? If so, how and why? What do you hope to gain from flirting? Do you give a rip either way? How have people flirted with you? Don’t feel the need to answer any or all of these ... they’re just points for discussion.
Have a zippity-doo-dah day, oh flirtatious ones.
