You guys know how much I love lists ...
TAKING INVENTORY OF MY WEEKEND
(or our weekend at the Hamptons. I mean, the Hampton Inn.)
1. Working inventory stunk, as it usually does! Wasn’t the best, wasn’t the worst. Saturday I worked 8 p.m. until 7 a.m.! Sunday I worked 6 p.m. until 6:30 a.m.! It’s not supposed to take that long, especially at a small store. Ack!
2. Beach fun! The Cutlet seemed to enjoy his first beach jaunt, although the gentle waves sorta spooked him. Took film pix, so it will be a little while before I can share with the class. There were a LOT of people there claiming their own parcels of the sand. I prefer a secluded shoreline, but that’s not a reality in the summertime. We even saw a tractor trailer (sans trailer) on the beach. Surf’s up, good buddy! 10-4.
3. Sunburn! Yes, we slathered the sunscreen and brought along some shade. The Cutlet is unburned. The Petite Filet and I are overcooked. Ouch. I’d rather be swimming in aloe right about now.
4. No McDonald’s hamburgers! None! We usually end up scarfing a few on a road trip because the old Golden Arches are everywhere. In a moment of starving desparation, I had a Jack-in-the-Box “Bistro” burger. I think it’s being test-marketed in the Houston area, because I’d never seen it before. Anyway, it was worthy of its own zip code. If I’d realized how big it was, I would have forgone the onion rings and had a side of lipo with a tummy tuck.
5. Traffic! I mentioned how many people were at the beach on Galveston Island. Well, Houston is always teeming with drivers. Because of the perma-traffic and some bouts with heavy rain, it took us TWO HOURS to drive about 30 miles on the way home.
6. Sleep deprivation! See No. 1 for the reason why. It’s hard to get serious shuteye when you walk out of the store and the sun greets your sleepy eyes. I think I got about six hours of good sleep during the weekend. I felt hungover, and my mind played some weird tricks on me. While things are being inventoried, nothing is to be moved from their fixtures. Still, I considered the comedic release of putting on three dresses at once, a straw hat, a pair of high heels, some mascara, grabbing four or five handbags and running through the store screaming “Inventory this, monkeys!” Night of the Living Dead Transvestites!
7. The Petite Filet is a bad driver. It’s not because she’s a woman; in fact, she drives just like her dad does. She speeds, she tailgates, she gets frustrated. She nearly ran out of swear-words getting through Houston. But because I was so sleepy, I accepted her offer to take the wheel. I sure appreciate her, just wish I had a barf bag.
8. Riding the escalator at the store, which I did 3,064 times during inventory, was a bit harrowing. Apparently it was not “grounded,” which means if you’re riding it and touch the metal sides you got shocked. Hard. Like shooting pain. The store manager can’t convince the company’s powers-that-are of this. I will be putting in my two cents about it, though. Am wondering if I’ve been rendered sterile or any future offspring will glow in the dark.
9. Our chihuahua, which my sister kept for us, bit her husband and our nephew. Oh no! I’m sure I’ll have more on this later, after she drops the little rat off today. He is a sweet dog, don’t get me wrong. But the Cutlet is our priority. Once he starts crawling, we don’t want the threat of a canine attack. Like I’ve mentioned before, we’ve considered finding another home for Bear for about a year now. The time has come to do that. Our other dog, who stayed with the wife’s ex-boss, did very well.
10. That is all for now. I’ve got tons of work to do, but I’m sure I’ll see you guys around!
Have a terrific Tuesday! Wear lots of sunscreen and stay away with mean little dogs, which come in many forms.
