I know in every life a little rain must fall, but this is ridiculous. Rain would not normally stop me from my outdoor exercise routine, but the thunder/lightning combo has rendered me sedentary this week for fear of becoming a grilled T-Bone. Argh! Oh well ...
THOUGHTS INSIDE THE BOX, PART II
Yes, friends! Here’s another roundup of comments I’ve made on other blogs in the past few weeks. These are only a small representation of the wit and wisdom that is Texas T-Bone. The comments are gleaned from excellent blogs, some of which you may not have read firsthand. I’ve blogrolled nearly all of them, so check ‘em out sometime ... you may be tempted to add them to your rolls as well.
One of my favorite parts of blogging is dropping encouraging, ridiculous, nonsensical or sometimes funny words for my fellow netizens (yeah, I hate that word, too). If you have a blog, good grief! Add comments capability to your site so you, too, can be frustrated when the service temporarily goes down.
Meanwhile, enjoy these again for the first time:
1. Maybe you should e-mail Martha Stewart about spooge ettiquette. She’s bound to “come clean” on the subject (and suggest something from the lovely Martha Stewart Living™ Jizzy Collection, available at your local Kmart®).
2. Absolutely! That's why I gave all my Armani suits to the homeless people living in Ferraris. Fresh goes better with life! Mentos®!
3. Alf is Carrot Top's biological parole officer.
4. I bet secretly, in a gigantic walk-in closet in her house, Morgan Fairchild has the world's largest collection of Old Navy $5 flag tees. That's how they pay her, I think.
5. I puked in the front yard. I puked in the back yard. I puked in the tub (while busy on the potty). I puked in the potty. I puked in the sink. I puked again in the back yard. This was all in one night. Then, the next morning, a friend drove me home. I slept, then I puked again.
6. You were such a bad girl! Suprised you didn't napalm your neighbor's sandbox or something.
7. I read about you and Dick in your archives and suddenly feel the need to take a cold shower.
8. Um, yeah. You crazy kids have your own language, I swear. I'm going to start talking like that to reclaim the street cred I had as a suburban youth, yo.
9. You mean you had family in town and nothing blogworthy happened? When my Uncle Spam and Aunt Jiffypop came into town for my sister's wedding, the fiasco at the airport alone could have been several posts! Will your family adopt me?
10. Adopting a puppy would give you a new leash on life.
11. The song that does it for me is "Happy Birthday." One day out of the year it means "I'm getting presents." The rest of the time it means "so-and-so is getting older."
12. A lot of people have dogs and horses as pets, so it's hard for them to think about eating similar animals. As for tuna, you won't find them doing tricks at Sea World.
13. That proves that it's not the size of your penis tattoo, it's what it says.
14. As piggy as it sounds, I wouldn't mind seeing Allison wrestling nude in jello (Sorry, Allison. Don't hurt me, please).
15. Ooh! Blogging fame whores? Can't wait. Hope I'm not in that category! (steps out of limelight). Humbly yours, TT
16. I pity the fool who doesn’t know where Mr. T is! He’s actually still around. Saw him on one of those commercials for something, with several other celebs (effective ad, eh?). His german shepherd’s name is Fluffnugget.
17. I need an entire coffee pot for my jizz load; my sassy mug doesn’t cut it. And for the record: my jizz is powerful. I got my wife pregnant by just thinking about having a baby.
18. Your blog smells like gay babies to me.
19. Call me a sissy, dude, but my cock-a-doodle-do has never met the business end of a zipper thanks to my boxer-briefs.
20. Blame those Keebler® elves, especially that Ernie character. He's a trouble maker. If he was here, he'd look me in the knee and lie lie lie.
21. Would hate to play garbage man on my street, especially after the load of diapers I put in the can this morning.
22. After the smackdown with Big Bird, Levar was never the same.
23. My reunion was dumb, and I attribute its suckiness to the total lack of hot lesbians.
24. Gosh, the dress-shop drama seemed like the scene from a movie. I'm just waiting for our hero (or heroine) to pull out the dope kung-fu moves and set the people free. Some of the buttons on bridesmaids dresses can be used as ninja stars and stuff, too.
25. Nothing like a freshly peed-on pregnancy test to make dieting viable.
26. I think confronted with a sexmogadget, I might feel a bit intimidated. Like a factory worker about to lose his job to a robot.
27. Sounds like the key to writing success is to learn to play the guitar and have a gas-cloud emitting dog. I'm halfway there!
28. There's a lot of people who blog only about feeling hungover or how cute their kitties are. That gets tiresome. But the support network that can arise from it is amazing and addictive. Jump in. It's hard to jump out.
29. Crazy Russian Chick (if she was in fact from Russia) sounds almost as strange as Insane Austrailian Tennis Player. Of course, it’s not where they’re from, it’s the whacked-out things they do wherever they go. Your trash-can grabbing skills and gentlemanly nature won out.
30. Have yourself a Rice-A-Roni® treat in ol’ San Fran. I have a feeling you will. Tee hee!
***See ya inside the box! Have nothing but good times this weekend, no matter what you do. Oh my, would you like some macaroni with that cheese?
I hope your weekend is full of fun, relaxation and your favorite people and things.
