//THINKING INSIDE THE (COMMENTS) BOX//
Not only do I love it when people leave comments, I “make the rounds” as well. During the week, I try to hit all my regular reads at least once a day. Most times I’ll leave a comment meant to be funny, snide or encouraging. Then, I might branch out by scanning other people’s links. It’s all about reaching out and letting others know they are special, and that they struck some chord within you.
Some of you who read this site also frequent the ones I do, and I thought (hope) it would be hilarious to relive some of the comments I’ve left on other blogs. After all, that’s how I first became Texas T-Bone. I got a mini-rep for posting meaty nuggets of witty wisdom, and it helped push me to launch my own blog.
I find these little witticisms are even sillier when removed from the context of the blog posts that inspired them. Also, some are partial comments, because sometimes T-Bone is verbose in those little comment boxes. Hope you enjoy!
Comments dropped on other blogs by T-Bone:
1. You’re a good guy to be the protector of stray pussy. Happy hunting!
2. Have to admit I thought Mini Thins were a new kind of feminine hygiene product or something. Aren't they some kind of wheat cracker, too?
3. Wow. Taking a dump has certainly come a long way since my grandparents ripped out pages of the Sears catalog to clean up with.
4. That McDonald's thing still gives me nightmares. Having worked there as a teen, I didn't see much that looked like female genitalia (except my male boss's face).
5. Sounds like an excuse for Brewery Boy to give you a rub down.
6. Looks like we’ve found another Mr. Poop[y] pants.
7. Joe, no woman wants yeasty undies.
8. I think it’s OK to have a bird on your shoulder if you’re dressed like a pirate! Arrr, mind my myna, matie!
9. Do they call bags of meat “bags of meat” over there in England?
10. You know it’s time to switch beers when it starts tasting like medicine.
11. Hope you have the weekend off. Then you can go hunting for British women who dig tattoos.
12. Check the expiration date on that milk before drinking it that close to bedtime, deary!
13. The only time my toenails change color is when I drop something heavy on them. Like a clean bathtub. Tee hee!
14. I had a friend who got a big “yellow rose of Texas” just below her navel. ... If she ever has a kiddo, it will become the gigantic yellow rose that ate Texas.
15. I like "sultry" because it's a slut of the English language. It's like a succulent, ripe peach. Juicy. Dangerous. Sexy. Hot. Burning. Desirable. Frantic. Available. Dirty. The girl next door who doesn't realize that tight T-shirt drives all the boys crazy. Or maybe she does.
16. As a guy, I urge all other males out there who don't “go south” to try it. Kind of fun, huh? Plus, done right it’s intense for your lady. And that, my friends, pays off when it’s your turn.
17. Is the patron saint of blogging St. Commenticus? Or St. Uploadabull? I’ll have to munch on that one awhile.
18. Too much wine is a real pain in the glass. Wine’s fine and liquor’s quicker, but beer is warm and fuzzy, like a friendly dog. Beer. It’s not just for breakfast anymore.
19. You really have a fascination with all things pot, but in a funny way (insert the way-too-obvious “commodian” pun here).
20. Reflective tape makes me all warm and fuzzy on the inside.
21. I’ll join the revolution if you provide the sunscreen and a big straw hat. I’m too whitebread to be a Jamaican Revolutionary. I burn easy and tend to freckle.
22. I'd love to see a Silly Spooge Sponge from Whammo® that you can throw like a boomerang (it always cums back!).
23. Wish I could make chairs, because then I wouldn’t get yelled at for sitting on a project.
24. The Quiet Party sounds like fun. Just make sure your gastro probs have quieted down. Wouldn’t want to be accused of talking out of your ass, would you? My boss does that all day long.
25. The first time a guy plays tug of war with his own rope is definitely a strange, awkward experience. Strange to think there was a time when we didn’t really know how to whack off! (“whack off” is so junior high!).
26. I like putting fresh berries in whatever cereal I'm eating. I especially like Nuts N’Twigs with real grasshopper chunks. Makes me feel like I’m on “Survivor” while sticking to a high-fiber diet.
27. After you've been the lead singer for Van Halen, your career can do nothing but start to spiral. Poor Sammy.
28. Darn you for making me look up the word, too. Now you'll be subject to this paragraph containing words on the same page: A cadre of cairds from Caelian carried cadmium-covered caducei to the Caicos Islands, where Caesar, wearing his caftan, drank caffeine-free café au lait, patted his cairn terrier on the head, shot cadgy glances at his man servant who was in cahoots with the cairds, and decided it was time to ship his caisson to Cairo. He noted the transfer in his cahier and realized he was a cafard.
29. My wife nearly shot me the last time I did dishes. She was yelling blah blah blah something about her grandma's fine china, but I couldn't hear her over the sound of the garden hose.
30. When I was 13, I could have outrun anybody while I was barefoot. Now, I need superfast shoes just to keep up.
