//SIZE MATTERS//
We live in a world where size is deemed of utmost importance. In some cases, it’s all about being thin. More often, though, it’s girth, stature and mass that reign. You need not look any further than your e-mail inbox and see how “enlarging your breasts quickly and safely” or “make your manhood rise to new heights” is a hook baited for our self-consciousness to devour. Bigger. Longer. Richer. Faster. More, more, more.
I will acknowledge that size has its merits on occasion. However, there are instances when size is a liability rather than an asset:
1. OK, a big weiner might sound like something guys (and the ladies) would want. But you can have a big pencil and not have the writing skills to pull off a paragraph. Prowess, not necessarily size, can be the difference between “OH YES!” and “oh no”. A miniature-golf pencil doesn’t do the trick, but adequate size and proven penmanship does. Plus, a too-large lovestick would prove hard to walk around with all the time.
2. SUVs. Very few people need to seat 12 people in a rolling behemoth. Our country allows desire to rule your car choices if you have the means. But be aware, you’ll look awfully dumb trying to park that sucker at the mall. It will take gymnastics and luck to climb into it. You will pay heavy premiums to keep the beast fed and properly maintained. Don’t even think about washing it with a bucket of dish liquid and a garden hose. It will take a power washer and a ladder!
3. Houses. The large homes being a current fad with “great rooms” and soaring ceilings don’t do it for me. We bought cozy with just enough space for us. Be conservative and you’ll pay less for the house, less to heat and cool it, less to renovate it (if it’s older like ours) and have to buy less furniture to fill it. We subscribed to a renovation/decorator magazine that I knew wasn’t our speed when it described a 2000-square-foot cottage as “storybook small.” We are quite happy in our house, which is plenty for us with less square footage than that.
4. Body. Some days I’d love to be tall, dark and handsome. But most days I’m more than content with being short, dark and goofy. Really tall people have to pay more for their clothes and keep headache medicine on hand after bumping their heads on low ceilings and doorways all day. And don’t get me started on the “Supersizing of America.” Many of us face weight issues through no fault of our own, and larger meal portions only hinder our efforts.
5. Bank Account. I only want enough money to be comfortable. To me, stuff just gathers dust and takes up much-needed space in our “storybook small” home. I don’t have time for stuff. I grew up rebelling against my packrat parents, and I continue to combat clutter. I like being humble and having to earn a living. Sure, a bit more would really help our currently one-income family. But not a whole lot more. I like flying under the IRS’ radar (“Not much to audit here, guys, lets move on to the Trumps.”).
6. Big Cities. The thrill of a big city is somewhat overshadowed by heavy traffic, pollution and higher cost of living. If that’s your bag, revel in it! But for me, a small town fits better. Admittedly, I enjoy escaping to Metropolis every now and then. Just glad I don’t HAVE to go when I don’t want to.
I wish we could drive a Mini Cooper and live on a sailboat. That is probably a little extreme, though, because the Cutlet’s stroller would barely fit in the Mini, and our piano (which has too much sentimental value to part with) would eat up too much space on a floating abode. I’d need an Internet connection to read blogs all day, a harder prospect when your life is lived at sea. Sometimes, even big dreams fall short of reality.
It’s a small world after all.
