//THIS MODERN LIFE//
I’m amazed at how technology has changed my life. Here I am, sitting at this electronic doodad, typing random thoughts. I can hit a button and ZAP! People all over the world can read it (not that they will, but they could). Makes me pity my grandparents, who were forced to watch TV by candlelight and send e-mails via Pony Express.
Here are a few other ways technology touches me every day:
1. The air conditioning in my house and my car makes life in the hot Texas sunshine more bearable. At least a little.
2. My filing cabinet at work, being so considerate, only lets me open one drawer at a time. That way it is less likely to tip over and smoosh the T-Bone while he’s reaching for his hidden flask in the bottom drawer. Don’t tell anyone!
3. If I adjust the antennas on top of my TV just right, some of the fuzziness in the picture goes away. That’s nifty. I feel like Buck Rogers.
4. When I flush the toilet, whatever I’ve put in there goes away. I miss that pair of sneakers!
5. My kitchen is like a great big McD.L.T. Remember those? McDonald’s stopped making them years ago because the hot side/cold side containers were styrofoam and the Vegan Environmentalists were getting peeved. Anyway, my vintage 1964 oven keeps things cold and my circa 1999 refrigerator keeps things hot. It’s a Bizarro Kitchen! Bummer!
6. That microwave is something else! Not only does it heat anything in a flash – including green plastic army men – but after it’s done it beeps and says “Enjoy your meal” across the little screen. How sweet. Of course, it says that if I’m just heating up water, too. Or a miniature artillery brigade.
7. Two words: solar calculator. Another word: deodorant. Two more words: toilet paper.
8. A few years back I installed a wireless doorbell at Casa Del T-Bone. All I had to do was screw in the button on the outside door frame, then plug in the “bell” part in any electrical outlet. Bing-bong! How Jetsons is that?
9. Telephones have been around for years, and they’re really neat. You can dial a bunch of numbers and a real, live person might answer! Don’t do it in the wee hours, though, because real, live angry people tend to answer. Some of my long-lost friends must not have telephones because they never call. Boo hoo! Maybe some day this exciting technology will touch them, too. I keep hearing about “Sell Phones” that are apparently telephones you can carry around with you. That’s so Star Trek, man.
10. I’ve heard you can use your computer or telephone to order pizza nowadays, too. You contact the pizza place, and a hot steaming pizza comes to you! I haven’t tried it because my e-mail won’t support anything that big and it will crash my computer. Cheese on my hard drive, gross! And the tiny holes on my phone would obliterate that yummy pie! I have enabled cookies on my browser, though, and I’m expecting something special from the Oreo folks in my inbox any day now.
How has cutting-edge technology affected your life?
