//TEXAS T-BONE’S MID-YEAR RESOLUTIONS//
It’s almost May. Do you know where your New Year’s Resolutions are?
The T-Bone is a believer in resolutions as a motivator for self-improvement. However, he was not motivated enough to make any. But it’s not too late! There’s still more than half a year left during which we can all take steps to improve ourselves.
Here’s my list of goals:
1. Get a freakin’ tan on the tops of my feet. I swear, they are so white that satellites can see them from space. Whatever happened to summers of my youth when I had the rugged, tough, tanned feet of Huckleberry Finn?
2. Trim the fat. Instead of Bachelor T-Bone making a quick sandwich and then bicycling for two hours, Relationship T-Bone ate a gourmet meal at that Italian bistro on the corner and sat around being in love. Married T-Bone did much of the same until two years ago, re-introducing the Lard Ass T-Bone to his bicycle, and running four or five times a week. However, the Slimmer Married T-Bone still has some fat to trim, and a jumpstart is in order. More fruits, veggies and lean meats. Less fermented barley-and-hops beverages. More water. More situps. More pushups (remember them?). Free weights. Continued cardio. No excuses.
3. Cutting the clutter. We are actually quite good at this, rebelling against our Pack Rat Parents who never throw anything away. My parents have yet to unpack a few boxes after they bought a new house ... 20 years ago. In our home, the arrival of the Cutlet four months ago brought with it a slew of must-have swings, toys, playpens, strollers, frightening breast-feeding apparati and miscellany too minute to mention. Because of this influx, we will be having another Gigantic Yard Sale in the near future to rid ourselves of items ruled obsolete by our child’s birth. It will be a blogworthy experience, I’m sure.
4. Actually finish a home-improvement project before moving on to another. When you live in an older house, it’s often like trying to build a sandcastle armed only with a Dixie cup and a toothpick. Things are getting out of hand. I’m much happier when focused on one goal; multi-tasking on the homefront also enrages the wife. For example, our formerly two-bathroom house has one crumbling bathroom and another that has only a toilet. I’ve ripped everything else out. But I’m almost at the point where I can put new stuff in. The bathroom is my No. 1 priority because our connected closet, which we are redoing simulteaneously, has exploded all over the guest bedroom. And Mother-in-Law of T-Bone needs a place to sleep next weekend. Go figure.
5. Be a better person. The method to attain goal is left vague on purpose because I don’t know the answers to this. I have ideas about how to do it, ranging from making more friends to shaving more often. But really, life is about the journey; death is about the destination. And I’d much rather my life be considered a “real trip” rather than a “dead end.”
Got any mid-year resolutions?
