//T-BONE’S EVIL TWIN//
I have a doppelganger out there ... someone who some say looks a lot like me. He’s apparently a famous actor of stage and screen. Maybe you’ve heard of him?
Matthew Broderick.
Now, get this straight: I don’t look like Matthew Broderick. There may be some physical traits we have in common, but those things are likewise shared with half the free world. Maybe there’s a slight resemblance if I am standing 50 yards away and you are squinting at me in the sun. But for whatever reason ...
Way back in high school, more than one person told me I looked like Matthew Broderick. I was hoping they meant the Ferris Bueller Matthew Broderick, not the War Games Matthew Broderick (W.O.T. looks NOTHING like Ally Sheedy. I promise you that! *shivers!*).
Told my mom about the reference and she said she could see a little bit of that, though I was “much better looking than Matthew Broderick.” Moms are cool, despite some obvious bias.
While in college, I was in Nashville for a journalism conference. Was kicking it in the hotel lobby between seminars when a dude comes up to me and says, “I liked that movie you were in ... what was it? Oh yeah, Ferris Bueller’s Day Off.” I was sure he was joking, but here was a perfect stranger telling me what I’d heard before. I told him I got that a lot, and he said the resemblance was uncanny. Whutevah, dude.
Here are the major differences between T-Bone and Mr. Broderick:
1. While I’ve had sex in the city, I’ve never been married to Sarah Jessica Parker
2. I have never been in a big-budget movie, nor have I performed on Broadway
3. I AM better looking than the actual Matthew Broderick, and my hair and eyes are both a lighter shade of brown than his
4. Thanks to my Scottish heritage, I’ve got more freckles (not so much on my face anymore, but I’ve got small ones on my elbows and knees)
5. My name doesn’t even rhyme with Matthew Broderick. Not even close
6. My wife and I have a son; Mr. Broderick and his wife have a daughter
7. Those royalty checks don’t come to me when Brighton Beach Memoirs is shown on those high-on-the-dial TV stations on Saturday afternoons
8. I’m never invited to The Emmy Awards because my wife does not star in an award-winning series on HBO (soon to be canceled. how sad)
9. Would I live in Texas if I was Matthew Broderick?
10. Would I have a blog called “Texas T-Bone” if I was Matthew Broderick?
Don’t get confused with him much anymore. Maybe because the Inspector Gadget Matthew Broderick, Election Matthew Broderick or Disney-remake-of-the-Music Man Matthew Broderick look even less like me. We’ve diverged a bit over time.
Had this additional thought: if Cher had a twin sister, would they be introduced as “Cher and Cher-alike?” Never mind.
