//WAR-TIME BAKING SODA//
You know about baking soda ... you can soak up nasty odors with it, brush your teeth, use it to freak out your co-workers by putting it in a box marked "anthrax." Well, duct tape is just as versatile. You might have watched the '80s "MacGyver" TV series and seen our intrepid hero escape harrowing scrapes with nothing but a Swiss Army knife, roll of duct tape and a garter belt. To help you during this tense time, Texas T-Bone has collected the top 10 uses for duct tape:
1. Instant Spring Break swimwear (possibly painful; also use as emergency bra)
2. Hanging pictures around your home
3. Muzzling stray dogs (just kidding! you people are too serious all the time)
4. Muzzling stray children
5. Handy hair accessory for the ladies – just stick and go!
6. Mousetrap
7. Fly paper
8. Emergency automobile tire repair
9. Diet aid – either tape up the fridge or tape up your mouth
10. Sealing duct work (an original thought)
Duct tape and plastic sheeting will only be useful if we're attacked by a band of wayward housepainters and we don't want to get splatters on the linoleum. Duck and cover, baby!
