//THERE'S SOMETHING IN THE AIR//
Saw on the news this morning that Dallas is a "BioWatch" city, which means the downtown area features air-quality monitoring equipment that could help detect biohazards in case a chemical weapon is detonated nearby.
Don't you think it's a little ironic that a Metroplex city has this capability? Look at the horizon, in any direction, and you can SEE the pollution wafting around our atmosphere. We have seen the enemy and it is us – the effects of our Lives of Mass Polution have been shown to cause symptoms similar to those created by other biohazards. It just might take a little longer.
Captialism is a fine system, but let's not kid ourselves about the consequences. A little restraint might be worthwhile in the long run. And it might help us breathe a little easier in our corner of this crazy, messed-up world!
Here's a list of things you can do to make Dallas/Fort Worth a better place:
1. When littering, make sure your trash is bio-degradable.
2. Before parking your Massively Gigantic Off-Road Land Yacht at the mall, make sure you're not crushing a small car you could barely see.
3. Insulate your attic with used disposable diapers. This will lighten the load at the dump and make your home more energy-efficient.
4. Walk, bicycle or take the bus or train somewhere instead of hopping in your M.G.O.R.L.Y.
5. Carpool. You've got the room in your M.G.O.R.L.Y.
6. If you're out of cigarettes, climb to the top of a tall building and suck in the pollution fumes. You'll get a weird buzz AND help purify the air!
7. Spay or neuter your pet. Or both, just to be sure.
8. In some cases, spaying or neutering yourself would be beneficial to mankind. (Kidding, it's a joke! Geez!)
9. We should put drunk drivers in M.G.O.R.L.Y.s and have them play smash-up derby in a place where they can't hurt others.
10. Make all the bad drivers move to Houston, where they'll blend in a little better.
Have a great day!
