I think many of us think we could write "The Great American Novel." Unfortunately, that card has been played and the deck is getting a little thin. What could one possibly write about that hasn't been given attention in myriad best-selling tomes (then made into high-budget blockbuster movies)? Well, here's my list of books I'll write when I find the time. Good thing for the American Reading Public is that I have very little "spare" time as I'm apparently destined to renovate our bathroom into eternity.
T-Bone's Novel-Writing Projects, Volume I:
1. Tales from the Roach Coach. A collection of stories about mobile catering vehicles and the people who love them.
2. Weed Gardening. How-to book on maintenance-free gardens full of weeds; and the people who love them.
3. World Leader Underwear Picture Book. A coffee-table edition that would forever answer the question, "Boxers or briefs?" for all modern world leaders. Plus, readers could find out how well our commanders-in-in chief could control their bodily functions during crises.
4. Washeteria. A collection of fiction centering on the activities of a small-town laundromat.
5. The Secret Life of Forks. Follow a couple of forks on their journey from table, mouth to dishwasher at a small, family owned diner in Ranger, Texas. Story spans their 22 years of service at the diner, and then eventual recycling into a Buick hubcab.
Not being inspired as much by theater, I would nonetheless love to collaborate on "Enron, the Musical" and maybe "Regis Philbin: The Early Years." Anyone want to partner on that?
