Recently in Dumb thoughts Category

I have a new site design!! Sleep seems to be escaping me tonight, so I thought I would take a look at it. Thank you, T!!! That inspires me to share a thought . . .

I frequently wonder about the importance of sharing your opinion, or telling it like it is, or stating the obvious. I really don't mind that you don't share my opinion, so I don't mind telling you what I think. Having said that, I am sure that there are some people who hold to their positions and opinions so doggedly as to be offended by someone who differs.

I've been thinking about what is changed by expressing my opinion. In the best circumstance, one would hope that it would open the doors for new thinking, expand a perspective, perhaps cause a person to gain new insight, help them move on to solutions for their problems.

What I keep forgetting is that most people's agenda has nothing to do with these purposes. On occasion our motivation to speak our mind is to force a change in someone else, not to encourage dialoge which expands our minds.

Case in point: I work with a very small staff in an alternative school. Each of us has differing levels of passion for our work. Each of us is willing to apply ourselves above and beyond the expected to differing degrees. I get pretty annoyed with one staff member's lack of passion and willingness to go the extra mile. I could be so much more encouraging, but I view this person as self-serving and lazy. Unfortunately, I'm also guilty of "reality checks" during staff meetings. When the his BS gets deep, I feel the need to get a shovel out. Did I suggest that we shouldn't use staff development as another boondoggle for the professionally challenged? Yup - I did.

Another case: A recent gathering of band booster parents had one railing against the "machiavellian" discipline techniques of the young drum and pit instructor. The parent felt that the director should "do something" about the instructor. I suggested that the parent should empower their young one (17 years old) to fight her own battles. Um, er, did I say that? Yea, well, that didn't go over well.

Finally, I loved it when the Harry Potter books came out. My then elementary school children devoured the books. I credit these books for motivating my youngest to read for herself. After all, we were raised on pumpkins becoming carriages in fairy tales and were hooked into the fight between Luke and the dark side. Harmless books. Teach your children values. Teach them books can be wonderful fantasy. Teach them to read, read, read! But don't tell the fundamentalist sitting next to you in church that you recommend them highly. That was another interesting moment in the history of opinions.

So, here I am. I really don't intend to offend people, but keeping my mouth shut would be akin to silencing diverse perspectives. Still, I pay a price. Offended people talk. They say things which sometimes can be hurtful, because their opinions become personal attacks.

In the first scenario, I'm not sure that I care. I don't respect this person any longer. On the other hand, I have no choice but to work with him. Still, getting along with people may mean that we don't "fight this one battle".

I guess it goes back to figuring out what people's motivations are. Are they open to a different opinion? Do I have a moral obligation to present a different perspective? Would it matter? I guess if the answers are yes, then I share. If not, I'm spared drama.

Just my opinion . . . what do you think?

Sometimes I'm worse than my own students (or kids!) when it comes to studying. Now that school is out, I am using my time to get caught up on all those projects that routinely get ignored throughout the school year, but especially from Spring Break until the close of school. I also use the summer for a little professional development.

Yesterday, I began an on-line course called Motivating Boys and Reluctant Readers. Though I've taught Language Arts to 8th through 12th grade students at the Alternative School for 12 years, last year was the first time that I actually taught Reading at the middle school level. It is different and then it's not. I'm not a Reading Specialist, but I need to get smarter about this. My attempt last year was noble, but there are many things that I would do differently. I'm hoping this class will strengthen what I did well, and help me improve my areas of weakness. It comes with the possibility of up to 45 CRU's (15 CRU's is 1 college credit). In order to earn the 45, I have much to do in the next two and a half weeks.

Course requirements include reading three professional articles, three middle school fiction books from the Young Hoosier Awards book list (I've picked Hoot, Red Kayak, and The Teacher's Funeral), and the entire text of Reading Don't Fix No Chevys. All of the above must be followed with reading responses posted to an on-line discussion board. I must also respond to two of my colleagues' responses to each of the six chapters of the text book.

I'm enjoying the reading, but I'm finding it difficult to just sit down to write the responses. Let's see . . . I've checked my mail on both accounts, surfed the 'Net, wrote something out for my daughters about their savings accounts, talked on the phone, fished for a lost earring (that I KNEW I wasn't gonna get back), did the dishes and blogged. . . OK, you've got the picture.

I guess I better get down to business. I'll feel better about this when I just get it done.

The catagory for this entry should really be entitled, "Dumb Stuff"!

I have a subscription for the magazine Women's Health. Love it. It is very real. So many magazines that feature articles about health, nutrition, and fitness often seem too fantastic. "Get that 6 pack is 6 weeks!"

Okay, whatever.

Women's Health is obviously written by real women for real women who desire health and fitness and have real challenges getting there. The January issues is sporting (sorry for the pun) a new workout plan. I know this doesn't seem unusual but their plan is. It appears to be well-balanced and doable. The plan on their website offers a fitness test that you can print out along with suggested exercises for each level of fitness covering an array of fitness elements such as cardio, flexibility, strength, balance, and agility.

I loved this one. Take the test - it's quick, if not a little predictable. My results . . .

You Are 48% Cynical

Yes, you are cynical, but more than anything, you're a realist. You see what's screwed up in the world, but you also take time to remember what's right.

Don't you think we get "more realistic" about the world as we get older? I believe a fairly wise appreciation of human nature lends to a realistic view of the world around us - and yes, sometimes attributing self-interest to the motives of others IS wise. By definition, cynicism assumes that what others do is self-serving.

Being realistic assumes that one understands that there are many reasons a person is motivated to action INCLUDING self-interest. Do you recall the saying, "Look out for Number One"? Perhaps it became popular because we are naively surprised when others demonstrate their interest is NOT in us! And we react defensively. Imagine that.

I've been sitting here most of the day, pushing through the papers on my desk and longing for a nap. What is it about the gluttony and excess of the holidays? Nobody was forcing me to eat!

Mmmmmm . . . so good. I have a piece of my mother's brownie - with walnuts, just like I love them. . . and about to foul my keyboard in the most egregious fashion. (Do I care??)

I spent Easter dinner with my sister (Arrrgh!!) and 26 other people yesterday. A rare event these days, as I have learned that these gatherings are sometimes difficult for me. This was an exception.

I think it's true that absence can make the heart grow fonder. I've missed my oldest niece. She is currently undergoing treatment for cancer. I expected her to be tired and wan, but in spite of her treatment she seems to be her spunky self, if not just a little quieter. It moved me to tears to see her. I had trouble at first getting to my feet to hug her. I felt so sure that I would cry. I hate morosity. . . these days I wear it on my sleeve.

I haven't seen her children since they were little. Her daughter is beautiful and gracious, and I was drawn to her. I wanted to let her know that this auntie was proud of her accomplishments and her admission to a prestigious school. She embodies the spirit of a much loved aunt. I wonder if she has any inkling of how much she resembles this woman. (Ironic, too, since biologically, they are unrelated.)

My oldest sister was warm and loving, taking time to talk to me and share insights and opinions and hugging me many times. I've missed her, too. Too much distance unnecessarily. She was upset that we didn't have much time to talk. Talk is all we do at these mob gatherings. Unfortunately, the talk hasn't much depth and is often interrupted. I promised her that I would come back for a weekend and we would do something together.

When? I'm so busy. I love all the things I am involved with, but as some of you have noted, there a times that many things don't get attended to. I guess I'll just have to give up cleaning again.

Darn.

What is the difference between giving up and surrender? Americans are not good at surrender. Not at giving up either. In fact, most of the unfortunate things that have happened to me in my life are a result of not giving up.

Yet, I think that it is the negative image giving up or surrender holds that makes us disinclined to take a different course, to let go of something/someone toxic, or to allow for the peace associated with the simple act of not fighting to replace the tenacious grip we have on some things.

One of the gifts of getting older is the ability to listen more carefully - especially to yourself. In my youth, I was apt to - even preferred to - blunder in and through a project or a challenge. I liked the mess of it all. Looking at all the features all at once, getting immersed almost to the point of confusion. In fact, it was pure joy to untangle the ball of yarn in order to discover some kind of order and set about an effective procedure for managing the project of challenge. I loved problem solving - creating solutions more than actually effecting them.

Fair Warning: These entries will only interest the over-40 and female crowd or quite possibility a forward thinking husband interested in what is happening inside the mind of the average female.

I have spent the better part of my 40's trying to figure out - or maybe outsmart - my body. I've also spent that time totally pissed off that my body would simply betray me. I've been horrified by the undeniable conclusion that I'm not 25 anymore. Imagine that!

Why the hell don't they warn you about this! I have read nearly every medical journal, women's magazine, alternative and holistic, that has anything to say about perimenopause and menopause. I've tried nearly every health supplement, yoga position, exercise and a number of prescribed medicines.

My symptoms are typical: insomnia, migraines, irritability (or rather, outright bitchiness), digestive distress (IBS), and power surges. It's sapped my energy, my creativity, and my patience.

Here's what I discovered.

I'm taking the sage and wonderful advice of a reader who suggested, in a way, that I seriously need to chill. Somehow I found a little, actually a lot, of Christmas spirit today.

Recently I received cards from two long-time friends that I don't deserve to ever hear from again because I am a terrible correspondent - something that I plan to rectify this evening after this entry. That made me very happy. My California friend sent these incredible spiced pecans. Oh, my. I have to hide them from my family. They're called Jeffrey's Best Spiced Pecans. You can order them by calling 831-899-0992. It's nice to be remembered.

Then . . .over the last ten days or so, two of my friends have had some interesting changes in their lives.

Somebody needs to explain to me why it is that when some women begin to lose their estrogen it turns them into psychotic amnesiacs. If men have less estrogen than us even as ours is declining, why don't they burst into tears at virtually nothing, snap at imagined slights by confused family members, and forget that delicate desserts are overbaking while we inspect the ever growing sags mounting around our chin lines?

SOMEBODY EXPLAIN THIS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

We've all had those days. We've all had those days before THOSE days . . . the days when you just know that what you're preparing to do just isn't a good idea. Monday, I was out with Curly Fry, my youngest, trying to resolve a chronic sinus problem hoping for relief as much as resolution. (Better living through pharmeceutics???) The nice thing about morning appointments is that you get an opportunity to go to lunch and maybe do a bit of shopping, too. It's a nice way to spend a few hours with your kid if you can get away from work.

I kept feeling like our upcoming trip to Michigan for the holiday was just not a good idea - predicted snow emergency notwithstanding. And there was a lot of snow in the forecast for southwestern Michigan - at one point forecasters were predicting 18 inches! But still, snow usually doesn't deter me. Something else was nagging at me. That CF didn't want to go to Michigan seemed a little weird to me.

It's snowing.

I love autumn. I love the changing colors and temperatures, the wind, and the smell of the woods at this time of year. But like all good things, autumn comes to an end sometime.

We cleared out my side of the garage. No longer the space for construction projects, gardening tools, or the place we put the foosball table for the kids' parties. It's now the place for my car. . . and the dirt and snow it tracks in.

It's snowing. And I do love snow! I love the first few weeks of winter, but I guess I'm just not ready to be stuffed into a coat and to have my hands hurt from the cold.

Oh, I know. Quit gripping.

I'll get over it.

I'm so excited!!! I can't get my fingers to type! I have been blogging in my head for weeks - probably months! And, of course, I'm at work so I can't do ANYTHING right now. I feel like I'm goin' on a date with a hot guy - that's how it feels to have a forum for all the stuff that goes on in my head. Hmmm - that's pretty telling . . .I'm getting all worked up about talking on a blog. . . I'm sure my husband wouldn't be too happy about that! In the infamous words of Arnold - I'll be back!