I have a new site design!! Sleep seems to be escaping me tonight, so I thought I would take a look at it. Thank you, T!!! That inspires me to share a thought . . .
I frequently wonder about the importance of sharing your opinion, or telling it like it is, or stating the obvious. I really don't mind that you don't share my opinion, so I don't mind telling you what I think. Having said that, I am sure that there are some people who hold to their positions and opinions so doggedly as to be offended by someone who differs.
I've been thinking about what is changed by expressing my opinion. In the best circumstance, one would hope that it would open the doors for new thinking, expand a perspective, perhaps cause a person to gain new insight, help them move on to solutions for their problems.
What I keep forgetting is that most people's agenda has nothing to do with these purposes. On occasion our motivation to speak our mind is to force a change in someone else, not to encourage dialoge which expands our minds.
Case in point: I work with a very small staff in an alternative school. Each of us has differing levels of passion for our work. Each of us is willing to apply ourselves above and beyond the expected to differing degrees. I get pretty annoyed with one staff member's lack of passion and willingness to go the extra mile. I could be so much more encouraging, but I view this person as self-serving and lazy. Unfortunately, I'm also guilty of "reality checks" during staff meetings. When the his BS gets deep, I feel the need to get a shovel out. Did I suggest that we shouldn't use staff development as another boondoggle for the professionally challenged? Yup - I did.
Another case: A recent gathering of band booster parents had one railing against the "machiavellian" discipline techniques of the young drum and pit instructor. The parent felt that the director should "do something" about the instructor. I suggested that the parent should empower their young one (17 years old) to fight her own battles. Um, er, did I say that? Yea, well, that didn't go over well.
Finally, I loved it when the Harry Potter books came out. My then elementary school children devoured the books. I credit these books for motivating my youngest to read for herself. After all, we were raised on pumpkins becoming carriages in fairy tales and were hooked into the fight between Luke and the dark side. Harmless books. Teach your children values. Teach them books can be wonderful fantasy. Teach them to read, read, read! But don't tell the fundamentalist sitting next to you in church that you recommend them highly. That was another interesting moment in the history of opinions.
So, here I am. I really don't intend to offend people, but keeping my mouth shut would be akin to silencing diverse perspectives. Still, I pay a price. Offended people talk. They say things which sometimes can be hurtful, because their opinions become personal attacks.
In the first scenario, I'm not sure that I care. I don't respect this person any longer. On the other hand, I have no choice but to work with him. Still, getting along with people may mean that we don't "fight this one battle".
I guess it goes back to figuring out what people's motivations are. Are they open to a different opinion? Do I have a moral obligation to present a different perspective? Would it matter? I guess if the answers are yes, then I share. If not, I'm spared drama.
Just my opinion . . . what do you think?
hmm interesting dilemm.
personally i don't tend to be easily offended, so i'd rather you shared.
Bod - Well, yes! I really do want to know what people think and don't take it terribly personal when we don't agree. It always piques my curiousity to find other perspectives on a subject. Particularly thoughtful differences of opinion really give me something to chew on.
It's now 56 minutes past my bedtime, and you're stirring up my brain!
Bod and I were e-mailing earlier today on the subject of whether we are offended when someone speaks their opinion. She and I both tend to want to hear what you have to say, even if we don't agree with you.
But, I REALLY don't want to hear someone give me their opinion, if THEY feel that it's the only possible choice or solution. I don't want to be in the presence of someone so controlling or narrow-minded. Like you, I'm always eager to hear supporting data or logic for someone's personal stand, and we hear that type of information less and less.
I realize in the "Harry Potter" scenario, there's very little supporting data that will sway a religious belief. No matter how bright a picture you paint of improved reading scores and children who volunteer to read, as long as the person listening to you identifies the Potter books with witchcraft, and equates that to the devil in some fashion, there's not going to be any fruitful discussion. You might as well keep your opinion to yourself in that case. If it's a really good friend who has an opinion so radically different from yours, I think you have to agree to disagree, and walk away from the subject.
Bed.....Beeeeeeeddddddddd
I gotta go; my bed is calling to me. I hope your post sparks a discussion, because I'd like to hear what some of our on-line friends have to say.
Oh....and I like this look.....very nice, T!
I have great admiration for those who tell their own truth openly. That, I think, is what makes exchange of differing opinions a respected process rather than a contentious one. Course, I am being idealistic here -- in the real world that is so often not the case when closed minds are involved.
It's my own theory but I think the more defensive one becomes when you provide an opposing perspective, the faster seeds of doubt are growing within their own mind. Do you think that might be so?