This whole setting boundaries thing forced me to apply my words this weekend. After spending upwards of 10 - 12 hours most days in the last two weeks at my daughter's Band Camp to prepare and serve food in the morning and fit uniforms and run errands for the Directors in the afternoon, I was asked to use my Sunday to work a 14 hour grueling shift at the Indianapolis Motor Speedway working as a runner delivering beverages to the suites during the race. Oh, I know you think that sounds exciting, but you can't image the fatigue at the end of the day.
I got a glimpse of the work personally on Thursday as we set up a few bars, but it's my Band Captain daughter who worked two days back to back after a two week band camp. She left our house at 3:45 both mornings and wasn't home until 9 pm!! She was so tired, my usually fiesty daughter, dragged her fanny to bed without so much as a casual glance at the computer. (You have to know the depth of her devotion to her beloved Myspace and IM to know what an amazing thing THAT was to see.)
Okay, boundaries . . . It annoyed me that after two weeks of working for the band, that the caller (Band Booster President) couldn't think of someone else who could help. I know there are parents who would help if they knew how they could be of service. Why does it always have to be the same familiar faces!!!
You want to know what I told her? "NO". I gave up two weeks of prep time that I would have used to get my classroom ready (I have 14 days until I have to be back at work.) At this point in the summer, I begin having "school" dreams and the less I feel that I'm ready the more likely that they are nightmares that interfere with my sleep. Anyway, I HAVE to get my school work done! Not only that, I was tired!!
The problem I think many of us get into is that we listen to the voices in our heads . . . "They're going to be mad if I don't do it" . . . "They really need the help" . . . "They counted on me to come through" We always give in to the voices. The problem is when we don't say "no", we cheat ourselves of our needs. We teach people that we're an easy mark. We teach them that they don't have to work hard to find someone to do the work. And, we don't give others an opportunity to be of service.
All organizations do better when you find meaningful ways to include all participants. When a few do the majority of the work, the others feel useless.
NO is a good word. Set boundaries and forget the guilt. As it turned out the minister's message was just what I needed to hear Sunday morning. It was about crying out to the Lord when you fear something. . . like being unprepared for the start of school. I wouldn't have heard that message in the deafening roar at the speedway.
Oh, yeah - no nightmares last night. Thank you, Jesus!!!
I'm so glad you got your rest. It's tough to say "No!" but we all need to learn to do it.
Off subject....
But I wanted a quick way to send you this address:
http://www.elise.com/recipes/archives/005266nicoise_salad.php
You and your spouse might like this as a meal.
Please delete this message at the comments section, won't you?