This one falls under "You Gotta be Kidding Me!" The other day I was having a conversation with a man who was annoyed that a daughter of a friend of his was placed in juvenile detention for fighting. According to him, she only hit the other kid because she hit her first. He didn't see how that wasn't self defense. Okay, I felt that didn't sound fair either, but you know how stories like these go . . . there's always more you didn't hear. It seemed to me that he probably didn't have all the facts.
At any rate, what frosted my buns was that he was angry at the schools for not teaching kids to defend themselves against bullies. He was accurate in at least one thing, schools advocate conflict resolution and depending on authority for help when that doesn't work. In other words, walk away!
What I tried to explain is that schools cannot play lawyer, especially if the fight started before a staff member could see the first punch thrown. If you throw a punch, you suffer consequences - maybe not as terrible as the aggressor (determined after a thorough investigation), but if you throw a punch, you are no longer in the defense! According to the police, if you throw a punch, you are launching an offensive attack.
This man thought we should teach the difference between when you can throw a punch and when not to! Excuse me? Isn't that YOUR job? People are always up in arms about the schools teaching their children things that should be taught at home. (Like they do? Since when was teaching manners in my job description??? Fact is . . . that's a daily task!) Can you imagine what people would have to say about adding "Defensive Fighting" to the character education curriculum! Give me a break!!
There seems to be a fine line between defensive action and aggression. Those who wish to blur that line are usually sporting for a fight. And that's MY opinion.
Walking away doesn't always work - I experienced that first hand trying to walk away from a bully in school. What I got for trying that tactic was getting hit from behind and knowcked to the ground (with a whole ring of other kids cheering her on).
I've never been accused of being a slow learner and I learned right then that passivistic attitudes do not work with bullies; they are delighted to hit you even if you refuse to play the game. I never walked away again, but did not throw the first punch at any time.