If you came here today looking for my thoughts/views on the war in iraq, sorry, you're going to have to wait for another day...I've tried my best not to become 'caught up' in this as I have a tendency to do at times, mostly due to the fact that I have way to much going on in my life personally right now to deal with matters I have no control over.
Do I have thoughts on it, yes of course I do (this is me you're talking to, remember?) but it's not in the forefront of my mind...
As some of you may know, last week (Wednesday to be exact) was our court ordered mediation, which really didn't have a 'good' outcome, however it really didn't have a 'bad' one either...it just didn't turn out like I would have hoped
The good parts; we are both still considered 'primary custodial parent' (you will see why this is a problem in a moment)
it's set in writing now when we have the children, when the other parent has the children we have 'first right of refusal' meaning if they need childcare, etc...we have to go to the other parent first, and if they are willing/able that is the childcare we use. (this has pretty much always been the way it is, one or the other of us has the children all the time) basically it means if I get called into work while I'm supposed to have the kids then I ask him to watch them, and while he's supposed to have the kids and they get out of school I still pick them up and keep them with me until he gets home from work.
we no longer have to 'ask for permission' from the other parent if we want to do something with the kids, if it's our time to have them, and we want to take them somewhere (providing they don't have school the next day) we can do that with no BS from the other party...trust me this is a major issue! Before I couldn't even go to my friend Jet's with them, simply because he said so! :angry
The bad parts I discovered have to do with new laws here in Oklahella...apparently a law had been amended that deals with this, not as badly as the lawyers thought it had been, but not what I was expecting just the same...I found the document on-line, here is the part I'm talking about...
*empasis added by me in parts*
43 O.S. §112.3 [new law]
A. As used in this section:
1. "Change of residence address" means a change in the primary residence of an adult;
2. "Child" means a child under the age of eighteen (18) who has not been judicially emancipated;
3. "Person entitled to custody of or visitation with a child" means a person so entitled by virtue of a court
order or by an express agreement that is subject to court enforcement;
4. "Principal residence of a child" means:
a. the location designated by a court to be the primary residence of the child,
b. in the absence of a court order, the location at which the parties have expressly agreed that the child will primarily reside, or. in the absence of a court order or an express agreement, the location, if any, at which the child,preceding the time involved, lived with the child’s parents, a parent, or a person acting as parent for at least
six (6) consecutive months and, in the case of a child less than six (6) months old, the location at which the
child lived from birth with any of the persons mentioned. Periods of temporary absence of any of the named
persons are counted as part of the six-month or other period; and
5. "Relocation" means a change in the principal residence of a child over seventy-five (75) miles from
the child's principal residence for a period of sixty (60) days or more, but does not include a temporary
absence from the principal residence.
B. 1. Except as otherwise provided by this section, a person who has the right to establish the principal
residence of the child shall notify every other person entitled to visitation with the child of a proposed relocation of the child’s principal residence as required by this section.
2. Except as otherwise provided by this section, an adult entitled to visitation with a child shall notify
every other person entitled to custody of or visitation with the child of an intended change in the primary
residence address of the adult as required by this section.
C. 1. Except as provided by this section, notice of a proposed relocation of the principal residence of a child
or notice of an intended change of the primary residence address of an adult must be given:
a. by mail to the last-known address of the person to be notified, and
b. no later than:
(1) the sixtieth day before the date of the intended move or proposed relocation, or
(2) the tenth day after the date that the person knows the information required to be furnished
pursuant to this subsection, if the person did not know and could not reasonably have known the information
in sufficient time to comply with the sixty-day notice, and it is not reasonably possible to extend the time for relocation of the child.
2. Except as provided by this section, the following information, if available, must be included with the
notice of intended relocation of the child or change of primary residence of an adult:
a. the intended new residence, including the specific address, if known,
b. the mailing address, if not the same,
c. the home telephone number, if known,
d. the date of the intended move or proposed relocation,
e. a brief statement of the specific reasons for the proposed relocation of a child, if applicable,
f. a proposal for a revised schedule of visitation with the child, if any, and
g. a warning to the non-relocating parent that an objection to the relocation must be made within thirty
(30) days or the relocation will be permitted.
3. A person required to give notice of a proposed relocation or change of residence address under this
subsection has a continuing duty to provide a change in or addition to the information required by this subsection as that information becomes known.
what it basically means is that if I want to move and take my kids with me, I must give him 60 days prior written notice, or 10 days after I become aware of needing to move (ex: if I am hired somewhere and need to be there to start in 30 days), after which, he has 30 days to dispute it, and try and keep me from taking the kids.
where the 'monkey in the works' is, is that since we are both 'primary' caregivers, neither of us has custody, and neither has visititation...so how the court would rule on that, I'm not certain...my lawyer seems to think they might give him full during the year (while they are in school) since he has stated that he will be staying here, and me during the summer.
I personally wonder how they would rule if he was in jail...
*sighs* anyone know a good lawyer? I'm getting desperate...