May 2005 Archives
First, and the last thing I will say in this matter on here...no matter what anyone says, I did not lose custody of my kids, I can show you the papers if you like that state I have joint custody of them.
Now, back to our normal (whatever that is) lives...
I'm fairly certain that this weekend marks the last I will be working at BW...due to them changing the system and me not willing to take time out of my other job to go to the training...I'm not exactly a novice at computers or motels, and if they seriously think it's something I can't pick up in an hour or less, then it's really to damn confusing for most of the people working there to be using anyway :rofl
Speaking of jobs, it makes you feel really good when your new boss comes in and asks you what days you want to take off around the holidays...meaning the ones in Nov. and Dec...definitally a good sign they plan on keeping me around!! :banana Or so I would think anyway :biggrin
Yes, I am enjoying the hell out of it...tracking down reasons why payroll's not balancing, data entry, deadlines, etc...and yes, I realize I'm a bit strange liking that sort of thing, but it fits me to a ~T~ (pun intended)
In other news...apparently while I was at work yesterday we had a bit of a power surge...enough to fry my graphic card and corrupt the hard drive :scared
fortunately, since all the crap I've replaced on this thing that didn't need to be...I had another card...and the windows disk was able to get rid of the BSOD :fdup
Which is a VERY good thing...since my girl can email me at work now when she's home :groupwave
In the midst of all the discussion, I received this comment...
"Just saw your "How dare you presume I'm heterosexual!" comment, and it made me wonder...and this is a serious question...does it ever piss you off to be lumped in with the whole "LGBT" category?
Posted by Old Comedywriter at May 20, 2005 10:58 PM"
I'm not really sure I understand the question here, why would it piss me off? I am part of the whole LGBT community.
Does it upset me that it seems to be the only way the media will show any of us, say at a pride parade or event seems to be the most 'flaming' of us all?
Does it irk me that very little of what people see of us have anything to do with what we're really like? that we have lives, families, loves, and are really not any different from the whole 'straight' community, except for the gender of the person we love?
Does it bother me that people seem to think our lives are all about promiscuity, and nothing about commitment and love, and they're doing their damndest to see that we are never able to be legally committed to each other?
Yes, that bothers me!
does being called a lesbian, damn lesbian, fucking carpet muncher, damn dyke, etc...bother me? nope, it certainly does not. (however, I am not a dyke, I am a femme, if you're not certain of the difference I'll elaborate, or someone here will I'm sure! :lol)
Does it bother me to be associated with the 'flamer's', absolutely not!! They, in their way, I believe, are working towards the same goal all of us are, and that is no more, and no less, rights than the straight community as a whole take for granted everyday.
hope this answers your question :sun_smiley
It looks like a few things need to be clarified, and this is way to long to do it in a comment.
first off, I did not link you up, nor did I call you by name, it's called a 'trackback' they would have had to read YOUR post first, where this shit started, to even know it was there.
second off, the comment was made to you, not Kristi, about it being none of her buisness how often I call my kids, I stand by my friend in that comment, how often I call them is between them and I, not you, or anyone else tyvm
the only comment made to Kristi was about who is she, because no one had seen or heard from her in these parts for a very long time until you posted what you did.
thirdly, no one had said jack shit to me about you until YOU CALLED MY EX, you put yourself in the middle of that one, and knowing you, and how you talk on the phone for hours, gave me, and by association them, cause to be worried.
I have never known you to be a "yes" person, yes, I have hung up on you many times, it was either that or say something that would have caused a major fight, and every time I was at work and couldn't have really done that...but I think most people here have talked to me enough on the phone to know thats a crock of shit.
and the similarites between mine and Kristi's situation is this....neither of us really knew what was going on in it, except for what you had told us, and that comment I will stand by, I no more know what was going on in her situation than the man in the moon, other than you called me in a panic one night about it, and I made the comment on the blog that started that war...same thing pretty much applies here, she hasn't talked to me since...hmmm...well since that happened, so how can she know anything thats going on in my situation unless you have told her?
call me teflon if you will, hell, call me whatever the fuck you want, I'm simply stating my side...
and now, if you all will excuse this train wreck, I have to get to work
I get sick of listening to straight people complain about, "Well, hey, we don't have a heterosexual-pride day, why do you need a gay-pride day?" I remember when I was a kid I'd always ask my mom: "Why don't we have a Kid's Day? We have a Mother's Day and a Father's Day, but why don't we have a Kid's Day?" My mom would always say, "Every day is Kid's Day." To all those heterosexuals that bitch about gay pride, I say the same thing: Every day is heterosexual-pride day! Can't you people enjoy your banquet and not piss on those of us enjoying our crumbs over here in the corner?
I've seen and heard it said, especially lately, why we feel the 'need' to be so vocal about who and what we are. For example, the bumper stickers on my van, the quotes on my site, and the fact we feel the need to 'announce' it to everyone.
If we could just 'live and let live' 'be who we are' and the like, we wouldn't have discrimination, we wouldn't have people voting to keep us 'separate' from them, if it wasn't an issue then it wouldn't BE an issue, no one would have to worry about gay marriage rights, or getting fired from a job because you're gay, because it wouldn't be an issue.
No, you don't have to tell everyone you're straight. Hell, if I didn't say anything most people from looking at me would probably assume I was!! I can't tell you how many times I get hit on at work, sometimes even after they know! :lol That is why I do the things I do, I'm not ashamed to be who I am. and btw, I have seen a lot of bumper stickers allude to people being straight for that matter.
In my mind, I guess what it boils down to is this...we want to be visible, we want people to know we're here and we're not going away, and if you look at us, get to know us, then perhaps you'll see we're really not that different from you! Perhaps someday, people won't think anything more about seeing two women kissing than they think about seeing a man and woman kissing. Maybe someday they'll just take it for what it is, two people who care about each other and want to show that.
Enjoy the other quotes I found below...
yes, I know I've been quiet lately, after working 95 hours last week it barely left time for sleep, much less posting. So you know something must really be bothering me for me to post, especially what I'm about to.
I've never really thought of myself as the type to get on her 'high horse', I've always thought of a very decent judge of character, and I've always thought myself to be loyal to a fault, even when I knew things weren't right, even when everyone around me told me differently, if you were my friend I would defend you to my dying day. period.
I've done some changing over the last year, I'll be the first to admit that. Perhaps not all for the better, definitely not all for the worst, I've been lax in some things, people I used to talk to on a daily basis I no longer talk to as regularly, and I've had more than one (hell, more than 10) tell me the reason why those people took such an issue with that fact is they were jealous, they had been used to having me pretty much to themselves for a time on a daily basis and got upset when they no longer did...and I'm sorry to say friendships changed over that. When it was always my opinion before that your true friends would understand such things...
when I first moved to FL, my phone was roaming, I was staying with friends and didn't feel comfortable having anyone call me there, not that they would have minded, but it wasn't my phone. when I got a job and my own place, the last thing I wanted to do was sit home, hell, I'd been forced to do that for years! I was working days, I couldn't stay up all night and talk anymore. I had bills I was trying to pay and kids I was trying to go see.
So, I did see my kids...and I met M, lost jobs, found new ones, changed them a few times, and now I'm in the situation I'm in now.
My friends also did the same, found jobs, had responsibilities, and for the most part, when I could have called (meaning, not being around someone and being considered rude for talking on the phone) they were still at work, or I was, so conflicting schedules were a factor.
Over 4 months ago, I called this someone I've called friend for years, someone who's stood by me through the rough times, and I thought she felt I had done the same, and I wanted to share the good news with her, to say her reaction was a major letdown would be putting it mildly, at least, that's what it felt like to me...no matter how much she swore that was not the case, that she was happy for me, You have a hard time changing that initial impression.
Then two months ago, or thereabouts, this same person takes up a relationship with my ex husband, "for the boys"... and I tried to believe this reasoning, defended her to friends that tried to say otherwise, and truly wanted to trust her, no matter how hard that was.
I have tried never to judge this person in her life, everyone believes differently and I try to respect that, even when they tell me how I need to 'be careful' around her children if I bring my partner to visit her family. There are a lot of things I don't agree with that go on in HER life, but I guess I don't feel as free to discuss them like she does.
No, I don't call my children every night, and I've tried to explain the reason to her. Even though I do truly believe the saying that used to grace the top of this blog "never explain, your friends don't need it, and your enemies won't believe you anyway"
but it hurts to talk to my kids, especially when they blow hot and cold on whether or not to come see me, due to what they've been told and who they've been around that day. it pains me because I don't see them every day, and I usually am in tears every time I talk to them, and that has been the case for the last year...
Do I love them any less? Do I think about them any less? Does my heart ache any less because of that, HELL NO!! there is not a moment in any day that goes by I don't think of them, I've cried more in this last year than I have in my entire life, and having someone remind me that my children are still there with HIM :shakehead, I don't need it, I'm very aware of it.
The last thing that bothers me, before I close this book, is the way you can talk about someone behind their back about what a horrible person they are, and how horrible someone is to another person, yet, 2 minutes later, they're your dear friend and best buddy again...
it really makes me wonder about things you say about your other 'friends' when they're not around
Going to fill out the paperwork today for my new job that I start Monday, and mulling over what to do in my head, I finally decided when I got there.
I ended up laying all my cards on the table, telling him that I wanted to talk about his company's discrimination policy, to which, he looked rather confused at that statement.
I told him I probably shouldn't bring it up, but since having first hand experience with it in the past, it was a concern of mine.
He asked what I was talking about.
I said, 'ok, to put it bluntly, I'm gay'
He looked at me and said, ok, so?
good answer :rofl
I then told him the story of the last place I worked at through the agency, and what my suspicions were, he was very understanding about why I would be so concerned about it, and assured me it was not a problem for him, and if anyone else said anything about it in the company, let him know and it would definitely be taken care of :biggrin
I then went to talk to my managers at BW...
yea, I was not looking forward to that...to put it mildly...
so after my GM saying that "you cannot leave" and the front desk manager assuring me that they will work with me...I'm going to be there on a part-time basis until they can find someone to take my place...hopefully I will manage to get out of debt working both jobs, and still manage to get some sleep time in there somewhere! :scared
I guess we'll see...
so I received a call the other day, from the agency I had worked through before, kinda surprising since, even though I'd told them to keep me in mind if anything good came up, I still had not heard from them since going to work at Best Western.
She had 3 jobs she wanted to tell me about, the first one to set up an interview was a payroll position.
They want me to start Monday.
I would be making more than 1 1/2 times what I make now...granted, it's a further drive, and gas is outrageous!! but I really do want to do this...at the same time, I'm freaking out!
First off, I need to give BW 2 weeks notice, I don't want to burn this bridge in any way, shape or form. They've been very good to me. At the same time, I'm going to be so dead tired trying to work these 2 jobs it's not even funny!!
Secondly, I was let go from my last 'temp-to-hire' job because I was gay, even though I can't prove it, I'm 99% certain. Even if I could prove it, sadly, it's not illegal in most states, FL being one of those. So there's the big 'what if' question.
Thirdly is, what if I hate it? OK, that ones doubtful, it's working in payroll FFS, I love doing that sort of thing (yes, I enjoy accounting and paperwork, so sue me :lol) and it seems like an awesome company to work for...but there is that possibility...
So, anyone have any thoughts? wisdom to share? solutions to this issue? if so, you know the routine.
so today...my friend D, who cleans houses for Fannie May came by. One of the last houses they cleaned they found 3 abandoned kittens, their eyes barely open, mama cat nowhere to be found, and they thought they had found a home for them with their boss, who's dog had just had puppies.
Well, apparently 2 of them needed extra care, one was the runt, who wasn't able to get enough to eat, the other was one that between the puppies and it's siblings, was not able to eat...D's roommate was attached to the runt, so she brought the other one over to see us...
she doesn't have a name yet, and yes, this brings the count up to 4 cats in the house
but how could we resist her?!?!
especially after she curled up next to me and fell asleep :blush
and I had just woken up...so was a very weak moment...
OK, so it sounds good :rofl