July 2004 Archives

It's all about what you say now. You have the power to dwell on the most difficult aspects of a situation. You also have the power to live your life according to the integrity for which you strive for. This is a social time for you Scorpions, but you may be preoccupied with issues of having to express yourself. Don't worry too much about this feeling of disconnection. It won't last through the week. Hang tight and the connection with your own feelings will get strong.
ok, these are starting to hit a bit to close to home...

by that title, of course, I'm refering to life...
I found out today that a very close friend of mine is dying :cry, depending on some factors involved, she has anywhere from 1-10 years :walk_sad
she said to me today "life is to short", unfortunatly, she knows that all to well now...she talked more about living, I mean really living, now that she's aware she doesn't have much time left to do that...
she's a year older than I am...

it really makes you stop and think...

I AM 25% WHITE TRASH! The white trash in my blood will not keep me from becoming a doctor or a lawyer, but it will keep me from a good haircut and any sort of fashion sense. Take the WHITE TRASH test at Fuali.com

guess that fits since I was told the other day I reminded her of a 'hippie chick'
:rofl

considering some of the things I've read today...I found this facinating...

Your romantic life needs to go on the back burner today. To have a friend is to be a friend, they say, and a really good friend needs you right now. The person you're crushed out on will be impressed by your loyalty.

I have just got to say this...I enjoy getting comments as much as the next person, however, 250+ later in less than 12 hours is a bit much!!
Jet and I both got slammed with these people who have nothing better to do than write programs to leave these lovely little comment spams...I must say there is a special place in hell for all of them :flames

in other news...I had a most awesome weekend hanging out with friends again and my children...just wish I had known the weather was cooperating on the other side of town and we'd have went to the beach :sad
I also wish that my kids didn't think we had to go somewhere and spend money to have a good time, and inform their father how unhappy they were when they don't get to...because it pisses me off when he still tries to tell me how to live my life from 1,000+ miles away! :angry:let_it_all_out:angry:let_it_all_out:angry:let_it_all_out

but anyway...yes, things are going very well with the person I've been spending a lot of time with lately...so we'll see where/how it goes...it is kind of strange though..in some aspects, but in a good way...and I must say I'm enjoying the hell out of it! :wink

so today was about a 5 on a scale of 1-10...I have a head cold :cry, woke up to early as she was leaving :cry:cry but in a way that was a good thing because I had reset my alarm for my sister and it would not have gone off at the time I needed to get up! :scared
and needless to say my mind has been anywhere but where it should be lately :scatter
so I get home today...where I had a very sweet surprise :blush a balloon with "thinking of you" on it, and a very sweet note attached that you will NOT know the contents of...:lol
and my oldest son...wanting to talk...
yes...the talk that every gay parent gets to experience I'm sure...
I've always said from day one that my oldest was an old soul...I could see it in his eyes when he was born...and very curious about every little thing...not to mention smart as hell! so he had a lot of questions about my friends, one in particular that has been here a lot lately, and why did I marry his daddy :hammer
so we talked...he asked, I answered...and when all was said and done he had this to say
"Mama, you're very lucky, to have people who care about you so much"
oh yes...that's MY child :Woot
I just hope what he learns from me, won't be scared out of him when he goes back :walk_sad

Horoscope for 07-21-04
Your future has arrived at your doorstep and it feels much closer to the present moment than you thought it would. Your deepest values are undergoing profound changes and there is little you can do to stop the process that began a couple of months ago as Venus began her retrograde phase. Today, things are looking better as you see the opportunities spread out before your eyes. You don't need to make a decision today -- just let yourself dream about the possibilities.

and to those out there with the smart ass comments, I know what you're thinking...and no, that's not it.
but maybe I'm becoming more open to the possibility it could possibly happen
*now where did I put those running shoes*

01: what is your first memory of me:
02: how long have we been friends:
03: tell about one memory we share together:
04: describe me in four adjectives:
05: if we could spend a day together what would we do:
06: name one thing you really don't like about me:
07: name one thing you really do like about me:
08: if you could give me a gift what would it be:
09: have we ever gotten in a fight & about what:
10: have we ever hugged:
11: have we ever danced with each other:
12: have you ever seen me cry:
13: have i ever offended you:
14: what is something embarrassing that i've done:
15: what do i usually look like when you see me:
16: what do i say all the time\whats my catch phrase:
17: do you think we will be friends in 5 years:
18: do you think i am bitchy:
19: has there been anything you wanted to tell me, but didn't:
20: what advice would you give me, in general:
21: when you think of me, what is the first thing that pops into your head?:
22: suggest a band / cd for me to listen to:
23: is there a song that reminds you of me:
24: tell me something I dont know:

omg...:blush :tounge
Names and some details omitted to protect the guilty :wink

well lets just say the weekend didn't exactly go as planned...I got off work early Fri. and we went and did errands...had a friend coming over and of course Whtetigr had said she would come cook for us...(yummy!!) we all hung out, put the kids to bed, and decided to play monopoly :shakehead
a little way through the game the tequila bottle from the housewarming party that never got opened was remembered, however we had no limes, and some of us were almost out of ciggs...so a trip to the store was planned by my friend and I...after hitting 3 stores which were NOT open, we found one, got our stuff and returned home...only to find that the party had started without us...:rofl
so out come the cards (no, not strip poker) let me tell you, playing with 2 drunk and 2 sober people (and for once i was one of the sober ones tyvm!!) is very interesting...then a few things occurred and the game broke up...
the next day we had plans to hit the beach...however the weather had other plans for us...so it was another day spent inside, hanging out with everyone that came over...and wanting to knock the kids out after they'd been inside all day :scared
today was spent lazing in bed...then we went over to see Ran and Beth, fixed her computer, tried to fix her AOL...ate some great food (thank you BOTH!! and that fish you sent is gone courtesy of my oldest :lol) then came home to say bye :cry
for now anyway...
I had such a blast hanging out with my friends, both old and new...you're the best :thumb
so that was pretty much my weekend...and go check out Whtetigr's latest post (it's back on the sidebar!! :banana) for the inside scoop on Scorpios :biggrin

what else could happen this week...

and how bout as I typed that I found out...
lets start from the beginning...
this morning I overslept, was late to work, woke up with a headache and basically felt like crap all damn day...
the day picked up a little bit when I got my new kitten...she's so adorable....all black with one white spot on her stomach...was love at first sight...

then I got a call from my sister, she found out the boys go back to school on the 12th...i was going to take them back the weekend of the 13th :cry...now I have to take them back a week early :cry:cry:cry:cry:cry:cry:cry:cry:cry
actually almost broke down at work, which i NEVER do...expecially in front of people...

then I get home, eat dinner, and check my mail...ok, that was good...
start this post, and get a phone call from my EX
the kids father
his dad, who has been sick for a while, passed away this morning...my kids were very close to this man and those who have read here a while know he has always through it all treated me like a daughter in spite of everything...the boys are taking it very hard, and its not easy watching your kids go through something like this...:walk_sad

then my girl, Ran, who I must say is the most awesome person...called me, just because she knew she needed to...then came over and hooked us up with some food and chocolate and a friendly shoulder to lean on...girl, if I haven't said it enough lately, you rock, and I love you very much :kisses thank you for everything you've done for me, and especially for being my friend...:hug

now granted...I do have a vivid imagination...however, it rarely becomes reality...so :wtf

When you close your eyes, you can see fantastic images representing your passions and your desires. When you open your eyes, you see the same thing. No, you're not crazy. The planets have conspired to let your imagination run wild and then to take whatever you've dreamed and throw the illusion of it into your reality. Deal with it. After all, you did dream it.

I love this group, downloaded 2 of their albums last night...

doesn't do much for a bad mood if you're in one anyway...but what the hell...

*edited to add: anyone else think it's odd this is my 4th post today?*

and I wandered over there today....one should never tease me with these stupid things like that...

I'm not sure what this is supposed to say, but I don't think it describes me very well at all...
20 Questions to a better personality

Wackiness: 62/100
Rationality: 36/100
Constructiveness: 40/100
Leadership: 50/100

You are a WEDF--Wacky Emotional Destructive Follower. This makes you a menace to society, depending on how you channel your energies. You chew your fingers and have an addictive personality. Properly guided, you can be enormously productive--otherwise you run amok, stir up trouble, and generally have a hell of a good time.

To your friends, you are a source of relentless entertainment. You often get into trouble, but you almost always find a way out. You are strangely popular and feed off others' energy. You live hard, seize the day, and although your more sober friends would like to see you settled down, you generally have fewer regrets and better memories than they do. Your tenet is that, at the end of the day, one regrets only what one didn't try. You are right.

You could benefit from outside help in balancing your highs and lows. Or perhaps cutting back on the caffeine.

:gmorning
so my kids wore me down this weekend and got me to take them to the beach...that was all they could seem to talk about since weeks before they got there, so Sat. morning, we got up, cleaned house, and off we went for a couple hours :sun_smiley
was fun, the surf didn't beat us to death like it tried to last time we went over spring break...so we spent a couple hours there then headed home.
Sat. night was interesting to say the least :lol...not going to go into details here for reasons I'm sure most are aware of...but a great time was had by all :wink at least for most of the night...
So after getting in bed way to late Sat., I'm up at 10:30am Sun. morning :coffee:coffee:coffee:coffee
We all went over to a friend of mines so I could meet her new girlfriend, the kids could swim in the pool (to bad it started raining) and just hang out and enjoy ourselves...which we did :smile then back home where my sis and the boys watched movies, and I got some work done :sad

I believe there is a reason and purpose to most things that happen to us in life...whether it be the people we meet, things we do, or the way we act...believing this I've always tried to treat others the way i would want them to treat me, and do what i believe is right...
when i see a friend going through something, i try to help, whether it be a shoulder to lean on, an ear to listen, or whatever i am able to give, i try...peoples patience at times...but still...

I don't understand people who use others, lie to people they say they care about, or do things they know will hurt others...

what i understand even less is people who do things like this, then turn around and say they've changed...when they've done the same things over and over...i'm sorry, maybe you have, but don't expect me to believe it or forget...i will forgive a lot, but i don't forget much, nor will i put myself out there to be hurt once again by someone like that...and i can forgive you from afar, you will not be a part of my life again, just in case the leopards spots decide to return...

and in closing, i want to say this...once you've asked for forgiveness, whether it is given or not, your reason is done, you don't have to keep going over and over it again, and trying to change the heart and mind of the one you hurt...that is nothing more than the same game you were playing before...
the only problem is, no one wins...

ok, as anyone who knows me knows...I HAD to post this...

You Are a Scream!

What Sex Sound Are *You*?
More Great Quizzes from Quiz Diva

In the midst of change, your feelings stabilize enough for you to realize how far you've come, but your words tend to show more emotion than stability. You may not reach the goals that you originally set for yourself, but knowing the reality of what you cannot achieve still can give you peace of mind. You can fall back on your own creative ability to survive, even if current circumstances are giving you a run for your money.

I read this and was reminded of a conversation I had yesterday with my girl Ran...we were talking about the ability to survive and stand on your own two feet regardless of circumstances...
I guess sometimes, it's written in the stars...

I just have to plug my best friend here.
due to much begging and pleading on my part, she came out of MIA to post this post about our weekend...afterwards...I don't know the entire story, but she posted this one (with photo's :lol)
you may now all stop wondering why I love this straight chick so much :wink :rofl :kisses

I can honestly say, a road-trip with my friend Whtetigr is NOT boring :rofl

We started out with her driving, me fighting the radio, and her hooting every time we entered a new county. I finally gave in and got a little sleep to get ready for my shift.
woke up not to long after we left the state of FL...we stopped and got something to eat and I took over driving...not a smart move on my part since right before entering Mobile there is a tunnel...which I did NOT want to drive through this trip...but tempted fate once again and managed it.
So...driving through Mobile AL...looking for a gas station...Whtetigr is changing clothes because it's getting warmer, and gets this wild idea to drive through town with her shirt off to see how people will react...and was rather upset when they didn't...:lol people are just not very observant...even when you stop to get gas they don't care what you're not wearing at that hour of the morning :wink
so we're driving along...out in the middle of NOWHERE, and we pass a closed weigh station, and this cute little dog standing there looking pitiful (in the rain :sad), I looked at her, she looked at me...I drove on, she said "T, he's gonna die out there"
turned the van around and went back...(can we say, SUCKER!)...she got out and the dog came right to her, it was a she...which we think had gotten dumped, you could tell where she had been wearing a collar for some time, and from the looks of it I'd bet that it had been removed and not gotten off by her. She rides very well though, and we figure it was a truckers dog until they got tired of caring for her. :walk_sad
so now we're picking up hitchhikers, my mother warned me about such things...:lol
so at this point, Whtetigr goes to sleep, how she managed with the dog on her I have no clue, but she crashed for about 6 hours :sleeping woke up asking "where the hell are we?" we had made it to Shreveport, LA, right before the TX border :biggrin
we drive through TX to OK, where she got to see there really is a small town America alive and well out there in East TX.

:banana:banana:banana:banana:banana
:banana:banana:banana:banana:banana
thats right, tonight after my buddy Whtetigr gets off work we're leaving to go get my babies!! :biggrin:biggrin:biggrin:biggrin:biggrin
:happydance:happydance:happydance:happydance:happydance

then we're heading a bit further south to see my friends Jet and Speedbump, so tigr can have her steak :lol and pick up my sister, before heading home...

speaking of which, I still need to finish cleaning said home! :errrr