AUG 31 2002

Addicted??

Court Case BS

I’ve been working on this post all week…ok let me rephrase that, I’ve been MEANING to post this all week, however, life, work and other things have a way of interfering with such plans.
BlueWolf sent me a link on INTERNET addiction this past week, which actually had reference to two women getting their kids taken away due to this problem…
when I read it, I literally felt sick..I could not for the LIFE of me understand how anyone could do that to their children. The excerpt from the page is at the bottom for those who want to go see what I’m talking about. (see the second instance)
I will admit, when I was married, I was looking for an escape, and I found it…not in the best way or place I could have I’m sure, however, my kids were always fed, had clean clothes, were clean themselves, and in bed on time. They were taken to school, picked up, and I was also secretary of the PTA (yea I hear you snickering out there!) and was the one responsible for taking them to any activities they were involved in (such as when my oldest played t-ball) also helped out in their classes when I could (this references when my oldest was in pre-k and I was ‘room mother’ for lack of a better term)..so while it was a problem, it was not near as big as he is trying to make it..
actually I think his biggest problem was not how I was regarding the children, it was regarding him..my overuse of the INTERNET (so to speak) did not start until after I asked for a divorce (almost 2 years before I left him!)…so I ask you, what do you really think his problem with all of this is?
but lets talk about now, which is the information they are asking about in the papers I got.
do I spend allot of time on here? heck not near as much as I’m accused of.
ask anyone, hell ask my kids, my computers not even TURNED ON when they are here..(and honestly when they are not what business is it of his?)
being on-line does not make someone a bad parent…neglecting your kids, be it due to being on-line or any other reason..well now thats a different story isn’t it?
thoughts?


“A study by Young (1997a) found the majority of those dependent on the Internet were not young, male users; rather, they were middle-aged women, particularly housewives. For example, a circuit judge stripped a mother of the custody of her two children after the judge claimed that she was so addicted to the Internet that she neglected her children (Campbell, 1997). This was the first time that Internet addiction was used as a key factor in a custody battle. The wife, a 40 year old woman, initially received custody of her and her husband’s two children, ages 7 and 8. After the divorce, the mother began spending most of her time isolated in her bedroom on the Internet, locked away from her children, and she reportedly neglected them. Thus, the judge ordered primary responsibility for the children to be turned over to her husband. In addition, a 24 year old woman whose three children, ages 2, 3, and 5 were removed from her home due to neglect (“Police Say Woman,” 1997). Her compulsion to surf the Internet reportedly broke up her marriage and the same compulsion later led authorities to remove her children. The mother neglected her children by locking them in their playroom — with broken glass, debris, and children’s handprints in human feces on the walls — so as not to be bothered while on the Internet. The mother was charged with three counts of child endangering”

  • Mercy on said:

    It happens…. I will admit I spend way too much time in front of my computer… the only difference being that my computer is in the living room with the kids. I make sure they are fed and cleaned (maybe not always dressed… depends on the day)… they get to school on time, they get picked up on time. They play games, get stories read to them by me.. I don’t think I neglect them… but I’m sure there are people out there who would say that I do… ways of viewing things being what they are… I dunno… locking yourself or your kids in a room in order to be online is definately wrong wrong wrong… and this comment is getting long long long.

  • -=e=- on said:

    Daaaamn… well in a case where a woman will let her kids live in such squalid conditions, I’d say it’s warranted. But that’s an extreme condition, and I doubt this applies to you.
    But I think you nailed it on the head with: “I think his biggest problem was not how I was regarding the children, it was regarding him..” Sounds like a matter of pride, and the fact that someone is having a hard time *accepting* things as it relates to them. Your “preferences” didn’t work, so let’s try a new angle…
    And with the nastiest of all divorces, separations, and matters of the heart… it always comes down to how selfish one party is, and how much are they willing to use their own children as weapons.
    As always… sending you good vibes!

  • Kristi (kg) on said:

    hmmm, I wonder if a mother has ever lost her chilren from READING too much, or studying too much because it’s out there. Anything that takes TOO much time away from the kids that they are NOT being tended to, is bad. I think the internet is simply getting a bad rap because there are some freaky people out there.
    Look, your ex hubby is just freaking out because he is threatened. You chidren aren’t. That’s simple, and I HEARD it in that sweet little voice of your tiny little boy. He ADORE’s you and trust me, when a kid DOESN’T adore their mother, it’s very evident. Just come watch my step daughter with her mother!
    Kristi

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