JAN 29 2005

11 Years ago today…

Memory Lane

I was in the hospital, having been there for 2 days already. Let me just state right now my oldest is definitely his mothers child, stubborn as hell :rofl
yes, today is ‘the dude’s’ birthday.
from the beginning he was such an ‘old soul’…he cried once and looked at me like “it’s about time you let me out of there!” :lol
he was the child who would sleep through getting his baby shots…
he was also the child who had every waitress in every truck stop from here to New Mexico wrapped around his little finger…and I swear he knew it!
Dude, I love you, and I wish I could be with you today…I wish you wouldn’t be in such a hurry to get older so you could do more, but enjoy your childhood, it’s the only one you’ll have, and you’ll miss it when it’s gone.
:kisses
even though you’ll never see this…you mommy loves you, more than you could ever imagine. :1luvu:heart:1luvu:heart


this is the first year I’ve ever missed any of my children’s birthdays, and now I have missed all of them :cry
even when I worked nights, I would still go to their schools with cupcakes and drinks, fix their favorite dinner, bake their cakes, and make the day as special as I could, just for them…
goddess my heart hurts so bad right now…

  • YFF on said:

    My heart is breaking for you. I have been there. Sometimes the guilt is unbearable. I’m sure he understands. Sometimes forgiveness comes easier from others than it does from ourselves. No matter what he is your child. And that bond is unbreakable. When you do get to spend time with him, spend it holding on to him, an reasuring him of how much you love him.

  • ranran on said:

    I agree it is harder to find forgivness in ourselves than from others. You did what the cards had in store for you, and one day all your “dudes” will be back with you EVERYDAY! Don’t lose sight of that. You are a strong and determined person T, and you will get your kids back.

  • Tara on said:

    T – I am so sorry that your heart hurts. :'( I wish that they would be with you right now – I know you do too. I have faith that things will work out and you’ll get them back! SOON!

  • Whitetiger on said:

    T I know those boys love you. I could see it in there eyes when I met them. They know and understand. I love you girl.

  • Archives